Yesterday I was reading Buddha’s statements. After several statements he often repeats, Aes dhammo sanantano, “This is the eternal law: you receive what you give.” If you try to eliminate enmity with enmity, it cannot be eliminated. If you respond with love it is already eliminated. This is the eternal law, this is the eternal religion, this is the ancient, eternal law. Nothing ever happens in any other way.
Sex is the expectation of love, compassion is giving love. Love is in between, where the giving and receiving are equal. Nobody ever feels contented with sex, and with compassion one is always contented. Love is hanging there in between sex and compassion, in the middle. There is a little contentment and a little discontent also lingers, because in love half is compassion and half is desire. Love is fifty-fifty – this is why there are many moments of joy and many moments of suffering.
It is unfortunate that ninety-nine percent of people never experience love. Compassion is out of the question – it is a faraway dream, it is a mirage. Ninety-nine out of a hundred die in lust. And what is their illusion? Their illusion is that they assume that they have loved.
So give it more thought: before you ask whether you have received love or not, look carefully to see whether you have given it or not. Because I say that if you have given love, then love certainly comes to you. This is the eternal law. If you have not received then you must not have given. Look at yourself, only at yourself. As Farid says, “Look inside your own heart, Farid, if you are wise.” Farid says, “If you are wise, then search inside your own heart – you will find it there.”
You will receive whatever you have given, you will not receive what you have not given. If you have not received then know that you have not given; if you have received then know that you have given.
Sex is the lowest rung. Most people remain stuck there. But remember, I am not condemning sex, because it is on the ladder of love. It may be the first rung, but it is still love. And one who will not climb onto the first rung, how will he reach to the last? So I am not telling you to get down from the ladder. I am telling you don’t stop on the ladder: move on, there are many more steps. You are standing on the first rung and you have created both your home and temple there. Move on! The first step is good because the second comes through it. It is bad only if the second step does not come through it.
So in my mind there is no condemnation of sex. This is why I have continuously said that sex and superconsciousness are related. Sex takes you to superconsciousness – but if you remain stuck in sex, then samadhi, superconsciousness, will never come.
And remember the other aspect also, because many people have committed this mistake too. In India this mistake has become very ancient. And the mistake is, when I say don’t stop on the rung of sex, there are two ways to move: either you grow from sex towards love or you leave the ladder – that is what you call celibacy. I don’t call this celibacy.