The first question:
You have helped me to be in touch with my spontaneity, yet it is the most dangerous quality of life I have ever encountered – especially in relationship. I lose myself. And what hassles you have created through it! Now I feel totally helpless, too vulnerable, possessed by you and this spontaneous union. Where is the center of this cyclone?
There is no center to this cyclone, the cyclone is the center. We have a chronic habit of dividing things into two, we have a chronic habit of duality: God and the world, body and soul, the lower and the higher the good and bad. The habit persists. Now it is the center and the cyclone.
Let me insist on it: the cyclone is the center and there is no other center to it Once you understand this oneness of life then all tension, anxiety, anguish, disappears. The anxiety is created because you are always dividing. Through division you become split; through division you become schizophrenic. Now you think that you are on the circumference – the cyclone – and the center has been lost, so now the center has to be found.
It is the old habit of duality. The “center and the cyclone” is a new language, but this habit is very old, the gestalt is very old. It is always that wherever you are you are not right, you should be somewhere else.
My whole emphasis is that whatsoever is, is right. There is no other right. There is nowhere to go. This is the only life there is, the only dance there is. Only then you can be spontaneous, really spontaneous.
Why have we lost spontaneity? By what trick? The trick is to divide. You cannot be spontaneous about today because you have to think about tomorrow. You cannot be spontaneous this moment because you have to think of the coming moment. You cannot be spontaneous in this life because you have to think about the after-life. You cannot be spontaneous in your act because you have to think about the consequences. It is always a division of now and then, of here and there. Hence spontaneity is lost.
Who is spontaneous? One who lives in this moment as if this is all, is spontaneous. And this is all. In the beginning it will be “as if,” but slowly, slowly, as you get into tune with it, you will come to know that it is not “as if,” it is the only reality there is.
The second thing: spontaneity is dangerous. It will be better if we say “spontaneity is danger.” To say “dangerous” means that dangerousness is a quality, accidental. So I say that it is better to say, “spontaneity is danger” – then it is not a quality, it’s very intrinsic nature is spontaneity. There can never be spontaneity without danger: danger is spontaneity.