Chapter 9: One Step at a Time
Think about this a little. Make your house, your family and all the things which seem like obstacles to you - because you think that they can prevent you from becoming silent - the center of your meditation, and you will see that those very things will help you to be silent. What are the things that don’t allow you to be silent? What is the obstacle in the family? What are the things that prevent you? Just think about whether there might be a way to make them into stepping-stones. There definitely are ways. And if you think about it and understand it, you will find a way.
What is the logic that tells you that if you drop the family you will become silent and experience truth? There is no real logic. Try to understand your life and your mind rightly, and use all the circumstances around you. But what do you do? You don’t use these circumstances, instead the circumstances use you. You remain lost your whole life because you don’t make use of the circumstances and instead allow them to make use of you. And you remain lost because you go on reacting, you never act.
If you insult me, I will immediately insult you even more strongly. If you abuse me I will abuse you, even more so, using even more abusive words. And I will not think that I have just reacted. One abusive word has been said to me, so I return two. This is not an action, it is reaction.
If you look at your life for twenty-four hours, you will find that there are only reactions. Somebody does something, and in reaction to that you do something. I ask you, do you do anything which is not a reaction to something else, which is not a reply to something, which has not come as a reaction to something, which is not a reaction but an action? This is the discipline of action.
If you think about it, you will see that you are reacting twenty-four hours a day. Others do something, and you do something in reaction to that. Have you ever done anything which only you have done, something which originated in you and took birth in you? Just look at it and meditate on it.so that right in the middle of the family, the house and the world, you attain sannyas.
Sannyas is not in opposition to the world; sannyas is a purification of the world. If you start becoming pure within the world, one day you will find that you have become a sannyasin. To be a sannyasin is not a change of clothing. that you change your clothes and you become a sannyasin. Sannyas is the transformation, the development of your total being. Sannyas is a growth. It is a slow, very slow development.
If a person uses his life rightly, using whatever circumstances arise, he will find that slowly, slowly a sannyasin is taking birth within him. It is a matter of thinking about your attitudes and making them pure and empty.
Look within yourself and see what attitudes you have that are making you worldly. Remember, other people are not making you worldly. You are with your family.now how can your father or your wife make you worldly? It is the feelings of attachment that you have for your father or your wife that make you worldly.
What will happen if you escape from your wife? - those attachments will go with you. Nobody can run away from their attachments. If we were able to run away from them, life would be very easy. But if you run, all your attachments will go with you just as your shadow follows you - you will impose them on something else; you will create a new household somewhere else.