Chapter 3: The Shadow of Religion
That’s why, continuously, the man will be after - seeking, searching - a woman’s body the whole life; and the woman will be seeking a man’s body the whole life. The opposite sex is attractive because the polarity of the bodies helps; it gives energy. The very polarity gives a tension and energy. You feed through it; you become strong through it.
This is natural, nothing is wrong in it, but when one becomes pure - through nonviolence, nonpossessiveness, authenticity - when one becomes more and more pure, the focus of consciousness shifts from the body to the being. The being can remain absolutely alone.
That’s why a man deeply attached to the body can never become free. The very attachment will lead him into many types of bondages, imprisonments. You may love a woman, you may love a man, but deep down you resist also - because the lover is also the bondage. It cripples you, the relationship: feeds you also, imprisons you also. You cannot live without it, and you cannot live with it. This is the problem of all the lovers. They cannot live separately and they cannot live together. When separate they think of each other; when together they fight each other.
Why this happens? The mechanism is simple. When you are not with a woman whom you can love and who loves you, you start feeling starved of the warmth that flows from a woman’s body. When you are with the woman you are no longer starved, you are no longer hungry, you are well fed. And soon you become fed up. Soon you have taken too much: now you would like to separate and be aloof and alone. All lovers, when together, think, “How beautiful it will be to be alone.” And when they are alone, then sooner or later they start feeling the need of the other and they start imagining and dreaming, “How beautiful it will be to be together.”
The body needs togetherness; and your innermost soul needs aloneness. That is the problem. Your innermost soul can remain alone - it is a Himalayan peak standing alone against the sky. Your innermost soul grows when it is alone, but your body needs relatedness. The body needs crowds, warmth, clubs, societies, organizations; wherever you are with many people the body feels good. In a crowd your soul may feel starved because it feeds on aloneness, but your body feels good. In aloneness your soul feels perfect, but the body starts feeling hungry for relationship.
And in life, if you don’t understand this, you become very, very miserable, unnecessarily. If you understand it you create a rhythm: you fulfill the bodily need and you fulfill the soul need also. Sometimes you move in relationship, sometimes you move out of it. Sometimes you live together, sometimes you live alone. Sometimes you become peaks - so absolutely alone that even the idea of the other is absent. This is the rhythm.