Chapter 2: The Journey Starts but Never Ends
Much more is possible now. And always remember: the journey starts but it never ends. Deeper and deeper satoris will be happening. And never think that this is the end, because deeper is always possible if you are waiting for it. Only that happens for which you wait. If you are not waiting for it then it will not happen, because you are not looking for it. And this is the point to be understood at this moment: don’t desire, but wait. If you desire, it will not happen, because the desiring mind is so excited, so tense, and so intrigued, it is already in the future.
So don’t desire, just wait as if something is going to happen. You don’t know what it is - nobody knows. It has been a misfortune that people have given names to it: God, enlightenment, nirvana, satori - it has been a misfortune. Simply wait with no idea and doors beyond doors open.
This has been very good.
The feeling of being alone was such a delicious one, I felt that I almost wanted to accentuate it - like going away for a short time to be alone. But I think I would rather stay here.
No, you wait. Right now to go away won’t be helpful. There are right moments to be alone. Otherwise one can fall back into the old habits of the mind. Rather, you start feeling alone here and now. Even with so many people around you, start feeling alone.
Aloneness has nothing to do with crowd or no crowd; it is a quality. You can be alone in the crowd, and you can be in the crowd when you are alone. So it has nothing to do with loneliness. Aloneness is just an attitude.
So first try to be alone here. If you succeed in it - and you will succeed, there is no problem about it - then you can go in a retreat for a few days. If you can be alone here, you will be alone there. If it is difficult here, it will be more difficult there - because when we are in the society, with people, we are in our element. It is natural to be that way. The fish is in the sea, and when it is thrown out of the sea, on the bank, in the sand, it is out of its element - and there is going to be much trouble. So first learn to be alone in the natural environment of the society, and then go. Then in a lonely retreat much is possible.
But my emphasis is always that one should learn to be alone in society. In India we have experimented, and the experiment failed tremendously. We helped many people in the past to go into lonely retreats. Then they became afraid of coming back. They became so habituated to it that rather than becoming masters of themselves, they became slaves. So they renounced the world. India suffered much because of this. The great minds were the first ones to renounce - those who could have been an Einstein, a Bertrand Russell, or a Freud, escaped immediately. That door was always open. And those who escaped didn’t become masters - because mastery needs the opposite. They became, in a way, poor.