Chapter 10: Seeing Double
You may be creating many diseases, not because the body is ill but because the mind carries the seed. So once a disease happens the mind carries the seed and goes on projecting it again and again and again. Many diseases, ninety percent, have their origin in the mind.
Too much concern about yourself is the greatest disease possible. You cannot be happy, you cannot enjoy yourself. How can you enjoy? So many problems inside! Problems and problems and problems and nothing else! - and there seems to be no solution. What to do? You go crazy. Everybody, inside, is crazy.
I have heard - it happened in Washington - one man suddenly climbed up a pole, a flagpole. A crowd gathered, policemen came, and the man shouted as loudly as he could, uttered profane words, then came down.
Immediately he was caught by the police and they asked the person, “What are you doing here?”
The man said, “Don’t disturb me. If I don’t do such a crazy thing now and then I will go mad, I will go nuts. I tell you, don’t stop me. If I do such a thing now and then everything runs smoothly. And I did not think that anybody would be able to know, because where so much craziness is going on all around, who will bother?”
You also need to become mad now and then - that’s how anger happens: anger is a temporary madness. If you don’t allow a leakage now and then you will gather so much you will explode, you will go nuts. But if you are continuously concerned with this you are already nuts.
This has been my observation, that people who meditate, pray, seek and search for the truth are more prone to neurosis than other people. And the reason is: they are concerned with themselves too much, too egocentric, just continuously thinking of this and that, this block, that block, this anger, that sadness, headache, backache, stomach, legs.they are continuously moving inside. They are never okay, they cannot be, because the body is a vast phenomenon and many things go on.
And if nothing is happening then too they are worried: why is nothing happening? And immediately they have to create something because that has become their constant business, occupation; otherwise they feel lost. What to do? Nothing is happening! How is it possible that nothing is happening to me? They feel their ego only when something is happening - maybe it is depression, sadness, anger, an illness, but if something is happening they are okay, they can feel themselves.
Have you seen children? They pinch themselves to feel that they are. The child remains in you - you would like to pinch and see whether you are or not.
It is said about Mark Twain that once at a dinner party he was suddenly in a panic and he said, “Sorry, I will have to leave, and you will have to call a doctor. It seems my right leg has become paralyzed.”
The lady sitting by his side started laughing and said, “Don’t be worried, you have been pinching my leg.”