Chapter 22: Accept Yourself as You Are
My main sense of the group as I walked into the room was of endlessness: there seemed to be no beginning and no end. It seemed like an intensification of life.
Very good(you understood. Nothing has any beginning and nothing has any end. All beginnings and all ends are arbitrary; they are human, and not really true. It is good that the group should have the feeling of being part of an ongoing process of life. It just gives you a glimpse, but that’s what life is. Very good!
I come here with all sorts of questions about what to do with myself. At the same time, I usually find that it becomes clear as time goes on.
Just time is needed, and patience. Then things clear by themselves.
When I answer your questions, I knowingly answer them, because no answers can be given really. It is just helping you to wait a little more.
The questions are yours, so how can my answers help? Your answer has to come, but you are in a hurry and you cannot wait, so I give you toys to play with, mm? Time passes, you do this and that, until by and by you become aware that those questions have dissolved, are no longer there. When a question leaves without an answer, it leaves no trace behind. An answer can suppress a question but it cannot resolve it. I can silence you and your question, but it will remain there underneath, and it will try ways and means to come up again. It will try to assert itself in different forms, in different terminology.
So all my answers are just to help you so that you don’t become desperate, so that you wait. Life gives answers, only life gives answers. Good!
I didn’t flow much with the group. I feel very stuck with myself, and feel a resistance to opening up.
Remain as you are. That very effort is creating more resistance. Accept yourself as you are: accept that you are closed, stuck, full stop. There is no need to do anything.