Chapter 2: The Tower of the Spirit
That is what has happened. Whenever you feel happy you feel guilty, and whenever you feel sad you feel happy. What nonsense! Whenever you feel happy you feel something somewhere is wrong! “I am doing something wrong.” When-ever you are sad everything is okay, it is as it should be. This is because whenever a child is happy, immediately, from somewhere, society enters and says no. The child has no conception of what is wrong and what is right; he has no morality. A child is amoral. He knows only happiness and unhappiness - he is wild. And when you say stop, what will the child do? Waves of happiness were moving all over the body from the head to the toe; from the first center of sex, to the seventh center of sahasrar - the kundalini was awake.
Every child comes into this world with his kundalini functioning. But you say stop, and what will the child do? He will hold his breath. Whenever something has to be stopped, breathing has to be stopped. He will not breathe, he will pull in his stomach because that is the only way to stop those waves. His diaphragm will become rock-like. Again and again he will pull in his stomach and not allow deep breathing. His diaphragm will become an armor. Now, beyond that block, breathing will never pass. If breathing goes deep it hits the sex center, and when it hits the sex center, naturally you feel happy all over the body; waves start moving, energy flows. That is why nobody breathes deeply.
When I tell people to breathe chaotically, they come to me and say that it is very dangerous. They feel afraid. What is the fear? The fear is that if you breathe chaotically, you will become wild again. The armor will be broken and the breath will hit the sex center again. This is how society suppresses you - it creates a gap between the sex center and the breathing. And if breathing does not reach the sex center, then all sources of happiness are blocked. Your stomach becomes rock-like. It does not allow anything to move down and your body is divided into two. You never identify yourself with the lower body. To you, lower is really something lower. Evaluation has entered. Upper means something higher, something good; lower means something bad. You never feel identified with your lower body, it is something bad - the Devil is there.
Adam was turned out, and every Adam and Eve are turned out of the garden. Why? Because they have eaten the fruit of knowledge, and the fruit of knowledge is the most poisonous. If you want to throw out discrimination - deliberate intentional division - you will have to throw out knowledge; you will have to become children again. Only then can the armor be broken. But there is going to be anguish if you want to try to break this armor, because this armor is your whole ego. You feel good because of it because you are moral; you feel that you have something superior to others because you are moral.
If you break this armor a chaos will follow. First you have to go mad and then fear comes, and if you are afraid you will again suppress, you will again put on the armor - you will even make it stronger. Your imprisonment is very subtle, and now you have become afraid to come out of it. It protects you, it seems.
I have heard that in a primary school, the teacher was lecturing her pupils about the law of gravitation. She said in conclusion that because of the law of gravitation we are able to be on the earth. One small child was very puzzled. He stood up and said that he didn’t understand - how did we manage to stick to the earth before the law was passed?