Chapter 7: Your Master Is Your Whole Universe
With a true sannyasin, an authentic being who has come to his own, the question will not arise, “.and are you truly my master?” There is only one way to find out whether someone is truly your master. If in his presence, if in his universe of seekers, if in his caravan of searchers, you suddenly stumble upon yourself, and you find the ecstasy that you have never experienced, and the blessing that has not been even in your dreams; and after this experience no question arises in you.. That is the very definitive thing, that no question arises in you. All questions have simply fallen, as leaves fall in the fall time from the trees. Only in that experience of the disappearance of questions, and with them thoughts and mind, will you have the answer, that you have found the true master. You cannot decide beforehand, because it is not a market; it is not that somebody has written on his door, “I am the true master.”
You will have to learn patience and waiting. One never knows - it can happen today, it may take years; it all depends on you. The master simply creates a certain subtle atmosphere. That atmosphere is here. If you can get in tune with it, you are a sannyasin. And if you get slowly, slowly dissolved and become part of the dance and the celebration that is going on here, of the meditation and the ecstasy, suddenly you will realize you have come close to an authentic master.
If it does not happen, there can be two reasons: either the master is not authentic or your disciplehood is not authentic. Rather than jumping to the idea that the master is not authentic, it is better first to look at your disciplehood. What have you done by becoming a sannyasin? What changes have happened to you? In what ways have you become more involved in the movement, in what way have you entered yourself, in what way has your lifestyle changed?
Everything depends on you. Giving you sannyas simply means that we accept you, our doors are open to you, not more than that. Now, inside the temple what is happening will depend on you - your intelligence, your integrity, your sincerity, your authentic search for truth. And I cannot think that in six days you have found that meditation leads nowhere, that you have touched the presence of my being. But I will suggest to you, perhaps you should go back to Lee Lozowick, because I am not interested at all in gathering a crowd of unintelligent, impatient people, in a hurry.
You will come back - about that I am certain. But this time you go back; first be finished with Lee Lozowick. That is what is nagging you. You are thinking that perhaps you have left your right master and here you have come into a strange world. Why not go back home? I never want anybody to be here half-heartedly. Either you are here or you are not here; there is no other choice. So you can think it over.
Either say good-bye to your so-called teacher, strict teacher.strictly enlightened. That I have heard for the first time. There have been enlightened people, but strictly enlightened.! So it seems a few are lousy. Gautam Buddha is not a strictly enlightened person - a lousy person in comparison to Lee Lozowick. You just go back to him, because that is the only way to be finished with him.
Now that you know me and you know my people, and you know the space that is being created here, going back to Lee Lozowick you will have something to compare him with. And if you feel to come, then come with totality. Your totality will be respected and loved. And only your totality can make you discover the master that is here.