Chapter 28: Death Never Happens to You
In fact anything that can become a hindrance can become a help. The same stone or rock on the path can become an obstacle or a stepping stone. If you can struggle a little and climb the rock, you can reach a higher point of vision - through using the rock. Next time use me, and then you will see that they are not hiding behind my words. You also try to become my vehicle, and then suddenly you will see there is a bridge, and you will never again find such a beautiful group.
When you go on working with groups, with people, a certain subtle ego goes on being strengthened. Drop that ego. Next time work as my vehicle, my medium, and just be instrumental. Don’t let yourself be there, but just my sannyasin helping other sannyasins. You need not be a leader really, but at the most, a catalytic agent. Then you will see a totally different phenomenon arising.
But it was going to be like this for the first group. Next time relax, mm? and work totally differently, and much will happen. Much has happened in this group too. I will ask people now individually, and you will realize that much has happened, but you were so worried you could not see it. Wait here(.
All the emotional things, cathartic things, seemed to be superficial on the one side, yet on the other seemed to be true, as I feel them. I don’t know if it is because of my knowing it or(. It’s not acting or theater, because I feel it. Perhaps it’s because I’m aware of it, and that’s why I see the difference, that’s why I see myself doing it.
If you become aware, then everything becomes superficial, outside you. When a moment of awareness is there, then nothing is deep; everything is outer and superficial because you are standing at the innermost core of your being. From that vantage point everything is superficial. For example, we are sitting here in the porch. It is not on the outer or superficial, but from inside the house it will be just on the boundary, on the surface.
The more aware you become, the more things will become superficial. One can become scared sometimes, because even love will look superficial. If you watch and are alert, then whatsoever you do will look like acting, because you are no longer identified with it. It is no longer an act, but acting.
So a really aware person becomes an actor on the great stage of the world. He is never in anything deeply. He cannot be, because something transcendental is always there. Whatsoever he is doing he is always far away. Not that he is not authentic, he is; but he is so deep himself that nothing can be deeper; anything relative is superficial. This is a good insight. Nourish and enjoy it more, and don’t start condemning because then you will miss the whole point. Don’t start saying that this is superficial and that nothing deeper is coming - there is nothing deeper.