Chapter 4: Selfishness: The Only Unselfishness
I don’t teach you to be unselfish because I know if you are selfish you will be unselfish automatically, spontaneously. If you are not selfish you have missed yourself; now you cannot be in contact with anybody else - the basic contact is missing. The first step has been missed.
Forget about the world and the society and the utopias and Karl Marx. Forget about all this. You are just here for a few years to be. Enjoy, delight, be happy, dance, and love; and out of your love and dancing, out of your deep selfishness will start an overflowing of energy. You will be able to share with others.
Love, I say, is one of the most selfish things. If you want a still deeper selfish thing then comes meditation, prayer. If you want a still more selfish thing then comes God. You cannot be related to God through somebody else; there is no via media. With God you have to be face to face, immediate, without any media. You alone in your superb aloneness will encounter that supreme experience.
I teach selfishness, but if you understand my selfishness you will understand all that is beautiful, all that is unselfish.
The second question:
In being selfish does one still remain aware of others or not?
If you are aware of yourself you become aware of others. How can it be otherwise? If you are not aware of yourself, how can you be aware of others? Awareness first must happen within you. The light must be lighted there first. The flame must arise within you; only then can the light spread and envelop others. You live in darkness, unawareness - how can you be aware of others? You go on thinking, you dream - you are not aware of others.
The husband may say, “I am aware of my wife and her feelings.” Simply not possible, because the husband is not aware of himself. He lives in deep darkness and unconsciousness. He does not know from where his anger comes, he does not know from where love arises, he does not know from where comes this existence, flowing. He is not aware of himself - and that is the closest thing you can be aware of - and he says, “I am aware of my wife and her feelings.” Foolishness. He may be thinking, dreaming that he is aware. Everybody lives surrounded in his own dreams; and hidden behind the dreams, one’s own projections, one goes on thinking: “I am aware.”
Ask the wife; she says, “He is never aware of me.” The wife thinks she is aware of her husband, his needs; but those needs that she thinks she is aware of are not her husband’s needs. That’s what she thinks are his needs. The conflict continues, and both are aware and both feel for each other and both are careful about each other.