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Chapter 6: A Thousand and One Ways to Laugh

On one of his birthdays his friends arranged a competition for who could act most like Charlie Chaplin. There were going to be three prizes, and from all over the world many people participated in the competition. And the final competition was going to be held in London. Charlie Chaplin, just to have fun, entered the competition from a faraway place. And because there were so many pretenders, nobody could even see that Charlie Chaplin was part of the competition. He was certainly hoping - in fact, he was absolutely certain - that he would win the first prize and that he would have the last laugh. But it turned out otherwise. He got the second prize. Somebody else was more authentically Charlie Chaplin than Charlie Chaplin himself.

It is possible that a woman with makeup can, as you say, Sobel, look very beautiful. But she has to be ugly in the first place; otherwise why should she bother? And it is not that I have not seen good makeup; I have seen it. For thousands of lives what have I been doing here? Although I have not seen you, I have seen so many people like you that I can say many things even about you.

The first thing is that you must be fat. If you are not you can stand up and everybody can judge. Only fat people become interested in makeup. Secondly, you must be a “homo,” because only “homos” become interested in the artificial. And if so many beautiful women here are not turning you on, that simply means one thing: that a woman as such cannot turn you on; you need men to turn you on. In that way, homosexuality is a very great spiritual development, because heterosexuality is just natural, it is biological; homosexuality is an invention of man. The bisexual person, who is both, of course, is far more rich. He can be turned on by both men and women; he has a far richer sexuality.

And from your name it is clear that you are a Jew. Now, a Jew, homo and fat.what else is needed to become a freelance makeup artist? You have all the qualifications for it.

You say, “The other day in discourse you mentioned that when a woman wears red lipstick it is ugly because it is not natural.” In the first place, that woman is ugly - that’s why she wears lipstick. If she had beautiful lips, who would bother to paint those beautiful lips with something tasteless, ugly? - ugly in the sense that your lips are no longer part of your face. They stand out, they become separate; they are no longer an organic unity.

I would like women to have red lips, but those red lips should come through the inner health - through blood circulating within your body, through exercise, through breathing; through long walks, through sunbaths, lips should become red. It is beautiful to have red lips, but to pretend.! And for whom are you trying to pretend? Everybody can see the lipstick is there. The lipstick does not hide your lips, it simply reveals that something ugly is hidden behind it. And I am not saying that all that is not natural is bad. Nature can be improved upon. That’s what intelligence is for, but it should not be against nature. For example, the lips can be red through better food, through better exercise, through better medicine. That too is improving upon nature, but improving upon nature in a natural way.

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