Chapter 8: Be True to Love
It is as if you are forced to eat the same thing every day - how long will you be able to enjoy it? You may have enjoyed it on the first day, yes, the second day, the third day.but then it will start getting on your nerves. Then for ever and ever.! Then you will start getting bored. And because man is bored he invents a thousand and one ways to distract his mind: sits glued to the chair before the TV for six hours - what stupidity - or goes to the movie, or listens to the radio, or reads the newspaper, or goes to clubs where bored people just like you gather together. Somehow one is trying to distract oneself from the boredom that has happened out of the relationship.
Try to understand. Tantra says: Be a bee, be free! Tantra is not saying that if you love a woman then don’t be together with her. Be together with her, but the commitment is towards love, not towards the woman; the commitment is towards love, not towards the man. This is a basic difference: you are committed to love, you are committed to happiness. When love is disappearing, when happiness is gone, then say thank you and move.
And such should be the case with everything in your life. If you are a doctor and you are bored with your job, then you should be capable of dropping it any moment, whatsoever the cost. With risk, life becomes adventure. But you think, “Now I am forty, forty-five, and how can I drop out of the job? And it is going very well financially”.but spiritually, psychologically, you are dying! You are slowly committing suicide. Then it is perfectly okay - if you want to destroy yourself and save the bank-balance, then it is perfectly okay.
But the moment you feel that the job is no longer a satisfying job, drop out of it! This is the Tantra revolution. The moment you see that something is no longer appealing, has lost the quality of allurement, of enchantment, is no longer magnetic, then don’t cling to it. Then say, “I am sorry.” Then feel grateful for the past, for all that has happened through the person, through the job, through anything, but remain open in the future. This is the meaning of being a bee. And Saraha says: Only the bee knows that each flower is full of honey.
But I am not saying go to the opposite extreme. There are people who can go to the opposite extreme, and man is so stupid.. Just the other day I was reading about a commune in Germany: the Action Analysis Commune. Now there is a rule in their commune that you cannot sleep with the same woman two nights together. Now this is again foolish. It seems man is such an idiot that you cannot help him. If you sleep two nights consecutively with one woman, the commune throws you out.
Now the one extreme has proved wrong. This is another extreme.it will prove wrong! The first extreme was repressive: you have to sleep with the same woman for years, for your whole life, with the same man, not knowing why, why you continue. The society says so, the state says so, the priest and the politician say so: that on the stability of your nuclear family the whole society depends. This insane society depends on the insane family; the insane family is the unit, the brick, out of which this whole prison is made.
Insane politicians depend on the insane family, insane religions depend on the insane family. They have been repressing you; they don’t allow you to move away from the woman or the man or the relationship. They say you have to be with it, otherwise you are a criminal, a sinner. They make you very afraid of hell and hellfire.