Chapter 14: Changing the Direction of Energy
So I will suggest some points. Make the presence of your beloved or lover a meditative state. Be silent. Remain close, but be silent. Use each other’s presence to drop the mind; do not think. If you are thinking while your lover is with you, then you are not with your lover. How can you be? You are both there, but miles apart. You are thinking your thoughts, your lover is thinking his thoughts. You just appear to be near, but you are not - because when two minds are thinking, they are poles apart.
Real love means cessation of thinking. In the presence of your beloved or lover, cease completely to think; then only are you near. Then suddenly you are one, then bodies cannot separate you. Then deep down within the body, someone has broken the barrier. The silence breaks the barrier - that is one thing.
Make your relationship a sacred phenomenon. When you are really in love, the object of love becomes divine. If it is not, then know well it is not a love relationship; it is impossible. A love relationship is not a profane relationship. But have you ever felt any reverence for your beloved? You may have felt many other things, but never reverence.
It seems inconceivable, but India has tried many, many ways. That is why India has been insisting that this love relationship between man and woman should be a sacred phenomenon, not a worldly relationship. The lover, the beloved, they become divine. You cannot look at them in any other way.
I wonder, have you ever felt any reverence for your wife? The very thing seems irrelevant - reverence for a wife? There is no question. You can feel condemnation, you can feel everything, but never reverence. The relationship is just worldly; you are using each other. The wife may say that she respects her husband, but I have not seen a single wife who really respects. Traditionally, because it has been a convention to respect the husband, the wife goes on saying she respects, and so she will not even utter his name. Not because of respect, because she can utter anything, but she will not utter his name just traditionally.
Reverence is the second thing. In the presence of your beloved or lover, feel reverence. If you cannot see the divine in your beloved or lover, you cannot see him anywhere else. How can you see him in a tree, where no relationship exists? When no deep intimacy prevails, how can you see him in a rock or a tree? They are unrelated. If you cannot see him in the person you love, if God is not felt there, he cannot be felt anywhere else. And if he can be felt there, sooner or later you will feel him everywhere - because once the door is thrown open, once you have a glimpse of the divine in any person, then you cannot forget that glimpse. And because of that, then everything becomes a door. That is why I say love itself is a meditation.
So do not think in contrast - whether to love or to meditate. That was not my meaning. Do not try to choose whether to love or to meditate. Love meditatively, or meditate lovingly. Do not create any division. Love is a very natural phenomenon, and it can be used as a vehicle. And Tantra has used it as a vehicle - not only love, even sex Tantra has used as a vehicle.