Chapter 5: Questions: Exposing Your Way from Ignorance to Innocence
I have a story to tell:
It happened in the early second half of the month of June, 1985, when I was living in Rajneeshpuram.
One morning, soon after I woke, I took a pee in the bathroom, and felt a tidal wave of relaxation descending on me as it sometimes happens in the last stage of your meditation techniques. The relaxation was all over me, and my eyelids closed gently and instantly. I couldn’t move or stop this tidal wave feeling.
As my eyes closed, you appeared in all your beauty. Your physical presence was so real and intoxicating - as one sees and feels you in a darshan, sitting in the first row. But in a moment you started disappearing, beginning from all sides of your body, and a deep blackness started taking your place. Soon all that was left was a deep, deep blackness of a kind I have never seen before. It gave a feeling of terror, and lasted for a couple of minutes.
As I came out of this experience I was stunned, dazed, almost drained. I was full of a deep inner pain; I was very shaky and upset, as the meaning that somehow had revealed itself to me was in the impact of the experience. It meant physical death to your body, or at least a death-like calamity.
I tried to force myself to be normal, but couldn’t talk to people. When my friend noticed I was disturbed, and asked me the reason, I told her of the incident. I continued to feel that something grave was peeping over the horizon.
In the late afternoon when I was working, suddenly out of nowhere a deep tidal wave of relaxation overpowered me again. My eyes closed and a bright purple color appeared all over in front of me, amidst which you appeared again in your fullest glory, beaming. Beautiful flowers were popping open all around you like bubbles - it was psychedelic! I felt now fully assured that no real harm was going to come to your body. Whatever calamities that came would pass away, and a more-glorious-than-ever phase for you and your people would follow.
In the later months a great calamity did come to your body in the form of your illegal arrest by the power-blinded US government - which was a physical threat to your life. Now, in the light of the first part of my story turning into a reality, it is quite natural for me to feel that the second part of the story has already started turning into a reality, slowly, slowly.
Osho, would you like to comment?
You have related your story with absolutely the right interpretation. It needs no comment. This is a good sign. Slowly, slowly, to other sannyasins also, the same is going to happen. They will come to feel an experience, and they will also be able to interpret it correctly. I can only say you are blessed that your mind has not interfered, has not misled you, and your heart has been in complete control seeing the experience and interpreting it.
A glimpse of your eyes, a flash of total love - it happens in a second but stays forever.
Osho, how could this happen?
It is a simple phenomenon. A moment of love is a moment of eternity. The depth of it is so great that time cannot erase it.
Although the happening was in a single moment, it is like a woman becoming pregnant: the happening is in a single moment, but it gives birth to a child who may live seventy, eighty years, who may give birth to many more children. It may become a tree: many branches, and each branch bifurcating into new branches.
I am reminded. If you go to Bodhgaya, where Gautam Buddha became enlightened, the tree under which he was sitting is still there, although it is not the same tree but the continuity of the same tree, a child of the same tree.
When Ashoka was the emperor of India, he sent his daughter Sanghamitra, who had become a sannyasin, to Sri Lanka with a branch of the original tree. Sri Lanka was converted by Sanghamitra to the ideology of Gautam Buddha, and the branch was planted there and became a big tree.
Here in India, after Gautam Buddha, a strange tragedy happened: Buddhism disappeared and Hindus burned the tree under which Gautam Buddha had become enlightened. It was only when India became independent just forty years ago that a branch from Sri Lanka was brought back. Now you see a beautiful tree again flourishing in Bodhgaya - although it is not the same tree, but it is the same tree.
A moment of deep love goes so deep in your being that time cannot erase it. It goes on and on giving birth to itself within you.
Hence I say that a moment of love is a moment of eternity.
Most of humanity lives to eat and sleep, work, accumulate power and money, or to propagate itself.
Osho, what do you live for?
I will tell you a real historical fact: