Chapter 7: On the Utility of Not-Being
If you breathe deeply you will feel rest flowing all over your body - a relaxation, a non-tense state of affairs. Have you ever watched a small child breathing? He breathes from the belly. You can watch and you will see. That’s how Lao Tzu wanted everybody to breathe. That is the Taoist yoga: just like a child, the belly goes up and down and the chest remains absolutely unaffected, as if the chest has nothing to do with breathing - and it has nothing to do with breathing.
But there are many problems: the fear of death - you cannot breathe deeply, the hara is there. And, just near the hara is the life-point, which you call the sex center - that too is a fear. If you breathe deeply, then sex arises. So people who have become afraid of sex cannot breathe deeply. If you breathe deeply immediately you will feel that suppressed sex has become again alive, it starts flowing into your veins and into your blood. And of course it is as it should be: the center of life should be just near the center of death. Hara, the center of death, and sex, the center of life are just so near, so close that they almost touch each other - two aspects of the same coin. That’s why in sex also people are afraid, because death starts throbbing with sex. A real sexual experience is also an experience of death: you die. That’s why people are so afraid of sex, so afraid of women; I have not come across many people who are not afraid of women. The fear: woman has given you birth, she must be carrying your death also.
Look at the Hindus’ conception of Kali, Mother Kali. She is both life and death, the giver and taker. A beautiful woman, but black, black like death; a beautiful woman, but very dangerous - so dangerous that she is dancing on the body of her own husband, almost killing him. Shiva is lying there and she is dancing on his body almost crushing him. And she wears a garland of skulls, and in one of her hands she has a cut head, freshly cut with blood dripping from it. In the West they cannot understand why a mother should be so dangerous, why a beautiful woman should be depicted in such a dangerous and terrible and horrible way. Hindus know better. They have penetrated the mystery of life better than anybody else. They know that sex and death are so close, so close that they are almost one. And when the sex center starts throbbing and spreading its waves over your body, the death center also starts throbbing. That’s why orgasm has become just a word. You don’t achieve orgasm in sex - you cannot. Unless you accept death you cannot achieve orgasm, because orgasm means losing all control, orgasm means losing all mind, orgasm means the whole body throbs in ecstasy, every fiber and every cell of it. The whole body celebrates in an unknown bliss and the mind is no more the controller and the manipulator.