Chapter 15: I Have Kept My Wondering Eyes Alive
Man unnecessarily creates problems. I want you to understand that there are no problems in life, except that you create them. Just try to see: whatsoever feels good for you is good. Then go the whole way. Even if the whole world is against it, it doesn’t matter. Whether you have gone total and whole will be decided by the reward.
If you start feeling at one point a sudden melting then you know you have not cheated yourself, that you have been sincere, true. Now is really the point where you can be proud.
What do you feel the next phase of your work will be, once you have found a stable residence, And what do you see your sannyasins doing?
That’s really a problem - an unanswerable one too, because I never think of tomorrow, and I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. I leave it up to tomorrow! I don’t burden myself too much. Today is enough unto itself.
Tomorrow I will be there, the problems will be there, the challenges will be there; and I will be available to those challenges, to those problems.
My whole life I have lived this way - without any predecision, without any commitment for the future, without any promise to myself or to anybody else for the next moment. And that has given me the most precious gift of life. I have become attuned with existence; knowing not where I am going, I am going joyously.
One thing I know: existence has no goal, and as part of existence I cannot have any goal. The moment you have a goal, you cut yourself away from existence. Then a small dewdrop is trying to fight against the ocean. Unnecessary is the trouble, meaningless is the struggle.
I never think of the yesterdays and I never think of the tomorrows. That leaves me just a small moment, the present moment - unburdened, uncluttered, clean, free.
So I don’t know the answer to your question. All that has happened in my life.if you try to recapitulate it, you will find certainly a tremendously systematic program - as if I had planned everything from the very beginning in minute detail. But this is an absolutely wrong idea.
As far as I am concerned, I have never planned anything; I have simply lived, wondering what is going to happen next. I have kept my wondering eyes alive, just like a small child.
Hasya has to plan, Jayesh has to plan, John has to plan - so they are all suffering from fever, tired. Just look at Jayesh!
But I am simply wondering what is going to happen.