Chapter 3: When Anger Is False, Laughter Is False
If you can carry whatsoever you have felt, that’s enough. Just enjoy in their presence. Let them see that you are smiling more, that you can laugh deeply. Let them see that you have become more tranquil and collected and calm. Let them see that you don’t react so easily. Let them feel your being - and that will be their change. They will start asking what has happened. Then too, don’t become too aggressive, because whenever you are aggressive the other becomes too defensive - that’s natural.
If you are not aggressive the other is defenseless - and it is easier to enter in a defenseless person. When he becomes defensive then he starts protecting, arguing, rationalizing - and it is difficult, almost impossible. And particularly with people who have been intimately related to you - family and friends who have known you from your very childhood. They simply cannot believe that you have changed. That is too much for their egos. They have not changed in their whole lives - and you have suddenly changed. Something must be wrong - either you have been hypnotized or you are befooling yourself or you have gone mad. First they will think about these things.
So don’t be too concerned about anybody’s conversion. Never be a missionary; that is one of the ugliest things a person can be. Just be yourself, but present yourself in a totally different dimension that they have not known before. And they will see it - it is something which cannot be hidden.
So simply go, loving.and be more loving, be more friendly, less argumentative. If they ask, then say something; but that too, never say with aggression. Say it with no effort to convert anybody; be humble and polite. Then you will see that a few friends are going to come - that’s how many people come by and by. I never go outside this porch.
Carry the message of love - not in words, but in being. Continue to meditate.and come back soon.
I’ve done Primal Therapy.and I have a problem with food. Every evening I put things in my stomach and I don’t know where to stop. I never feel satiated and then I get very despairing because I know it is not what I want - to put food in myself.
Had this always been so, or just recently?
I think that maybe it is a result of the Primal.
It can be, because Primal brings up things from the childhood. Don’t be worried about it - it is a good sign. You have been in Primal, and have moved to the past, to your childhood.