Chapter 10: Obeying the Warrior Within
If you can be a witness with sex and the anti-sex attitude, you will come to a great understanding. That understanding will tell you that sex and anti-sex are two poles of one wave. They are not really “anti,” they are just the rising and falling of the same wave. They are one, so there is nothing to choose. If you choose one you have already chosen the other, because it is part of it - the hidden part. If you choose one you have already chosen the other because the other cannot be separated from it. They are one, so there is no choice. Then, choicelessness happens to you.
That choicelessness is the path of victory. Now you don’t choose; there is nothing to choose. And a miracle happens: when you don’t choose, both fall away. Sex and brahmacharya both disappear and for the first time you are not in their clutches. For the first time you are not in the hold of the opposites. You have fallen out.
Witnessing is the beginning, and witnessing is the end. The first step and the last step are one. Witnessing is the means and witnessing is the goal. Then the fight goes on, but you are not the warrior. Now the fighting is on a different level. What is that different level of fighting?
Now, sex and anti-sex are simultaneously present to you. This simultaneous presence of the opposites is the fight. They fight with each other, and you remain a witness. Because they are opposites, anti-poles, they destroy each other completely and both disappear. They are of the same strength and the same energy. They cut each other out, they negate each other.
This is the fight. But you are not the warrior, you are just a witness. You are just looking from above: a watcher on the hills. Down in the valley the fight will go on, but now you are just a watcher on the tower. You just look down and you know they are fighting, the opposites are fighting. They negate each other because they are of the same strength.
Remember this: only a very deeply sexual person can become a brahmacharya. Strong sexual desire can be converted into brahmacharya. If you are just ordinarily sexual you cannot become a brahmacharya because to become a brahmacharya much energy is needed. And the opposite energies are always equivalent, so only very deeply sexual persons become brahmacharyas. Ordinary persons, with ordinary, natural sex, never move to it, they cannot. The energy to move comes from sex. Opposite energies are equivalent.
You need not fight, you need not take part from this side or that side. That is the way of defeat. Just remain aside, get out of the circle - be a witness.
It is difficult because the mind wants to choose; the mind always chooses. The mind is the chooser because, without choosing, there will be no mind. You will fall out of the mind if you fall out of choice. That’s why it is so difficult not to choose.
Even what I am saying. Many of you may choose to follow what I am saying, but you will choose to do so for a reason. People come to me and when I say, “Be a witness,” they immediately ask, “If I become a witness, will sexuality disappear?” They cannot become a witness because they have already chosen. They ask, “Will sexuality disappear if I become a witness?” They are even ready to become a witness if sexuality will disappear!