Chapter 12: If You Want Consolation, Go Somewhere Else
People have been asking me how to avoid their wife’s or their girlfriend’s nagging, because it has become a continuous headache. In the name of love, what they are getting is not love but just a constant torture, very subtle. She may not say anything, she may simply bang the door, but she has said everything by banging the door, by dropping the plate, by beating the child. She may not say anything to the husband. But the child has not done anything and he has a good beating. And the husband knows that HE is being beaten, not the child. To avoid this whole thing, he tries to escape from the home, to the office.
You know about the offices. The boss approaches first. Even before the janitor has reached the office to unlock it, to clean it, the boss is already there, sitting in the car. Then the janitor arrives, then the clerks start coming, then the manager comes.. And they all look happier in the office, where there is so much work, and they hope that by the weekend they will be able to relax for two days.
But those two days of the weekend prove to be the most terrible because they have to be at home for twenty-four hours. Clouds of misery surround them. For five days, the working days, they hope for the weekend, and at the weekend they pray to God, “Finish this weekend as quickly as possible; the office is far better!”
I have heard, two men used to sit in the pub very late every day till the owner was about to close. He almost had to push them out, saying, “Now go home, it is illegal to keep the pub open any longer. It is the middle of the night. Get out!” Then reluctantly they would go.
One day, one man asked the other, “I know why I am sitting here, but what is the reason that you go on sitting here every day?”
The other one said, “My reason is my wife. As long as I can remain out of the home I have some dignity, some self-respect. The moment I enter the home, I have to enter with my tail between my legs. And immediately all my dignity, all my self-respect is destroyed. But why do you go on sitting here? I know perfectly well you are unmarried.”
The first man said, “I go on sitting here just because I am unmarried - there is nobody waiting for me at home. I am hoping to get married.”
He said, “This is strange, I am sitting here because I am married; you are sitting here because you are unmarried, there is nobody at home waiting for you. For me there is somebody waiting.”
What kind of relationships have we created?
Dhyan Om was very angry. You ask the question, and then your reaction is anger. That means you missed the point. Latifa was a little better. She was crying, and then laughing.and then crying, and then laughing. Whenever she understood the point she laughed, and whenever she became herself she cried. So this went on for a long time.