Chapter 11: A Meeting of Life with Death
The first question:
When we’re sitting in front of you, hearing your words and feeling your presence, everything feels possible. But when we return to our daily living conditions, things do not seem so clear and we feel cut off from you. You have told us that we should not renounce the world, but be meditative within it. You have also said that we should be spontaneous and mad. How can we integrate the two without alienating our families and friends and the society around us?
Once you start thinking in terms of two contradictions and how to make them meet, you will always be in difficulty. Then everything will be a compromise, and with compromise no one ever feels fulfilled. Something is always lacking, missing. If you do this, then on the other pole something has to be lost. If you do that, then on this pole something has to be lost, and whatsoever you lose goes on hovering in the mind. It will never allow you to be blissful.
So the first thing is: never think in terms of compromise. If you think in terms of contradictions and how to make them meet, you are bound to think in terms of compromise. So what am I to suggest to you?
The first thing is - always be integrated within, and don’t think of any integration without - because you are the meeting point. Alone you sit silently. In life you have to be active, involved. Silence and involvement are contradictions, but they both meet in you. You are silent and you are involved.
If you are integrated your silence and your involvement will be integrated. Your being alone, and your being with your wife or your husband or friends, are two contradictory things, but you are in both. If you are integrated you will be happy alone. If you are integrated you will be happy with others. Happiness will be your quality. It doesn’t depend on being alone or being with others. If it does depend there will be problems.
If you feel that when you are alone you are happy and your happiness depends on being alone, then there will be difficulty. Then aloneness is a must. Then you will feel unhappy when with others and you will start thinking how to make these two opposites meet. The problem arises because you are dependent on your loneliness for your happiness.
Don’t be dependent. Be happy when alone. Let happiness be your quality, and when you move from aloneness into involvement, into communication, relationship, carry that quality of happiness which was in aloneness - carry it. In the beginning it will be difficult, because you will almost always forget; difficult because of forgetfulness, because of not being constantly aware, but by and by you can carry the quality.