Chapter 16: The Courage to Say “I Don’t Know”
He said, “I don’t know, but I feel such a relief. Such a burden has been removed from my heart. But I don’t know what.who has made this cross, why I have such tremendous compulsion that if I don’t kiss the cross I may die. I had to do it exactly at twelve. That was coming from inside me and I don’t know anything about it.”
His brother said, “I accept the evidence.”
When you become infatuated with a woman, do you think your woman is just a cross on the pillow? A biological infatuation? A projection from the unconscious, very deep rooted - not by anybody, but by nature itself.
Your hormones, your chemistry, your biology, they are all functioning in a certain conspiracy against your awareness. They are making you restless, they are making you irresistibly attracted towards somebody and it is beyond your power to prevent yourself from this attraction or infatuation. You will be pulled like a puppet.
It is not coincidental that all languages say, people fall in love. People certainly fall in love - fall into unconsciousness, fall into biological hypnosis, fall into the instinctual nature. They are no longer conscious human beings. That’s why this kind of infatuation and love affair finishes very soon. Once you have got the woman, once you have kissed the pillow.finished! A great burden, a great relief, but it was a pillow.
So it was a simple phenomenon, but the woman you have kissed.and you cannot kiss without a preface. It needs some introduction - going to the movies, to the disco, all kind of things as preliminary necessities. Promising all kinds of promises, bringing roses and ice cream - this is the preface. And after all this preface, when you kiss a woman, she is not just a pillow. Now she will cling to you. Now you cannot escape. Now you want to escape but your own preface has created the prison. Now you cannot go against your word.
All the seekers of human consciousness absolutely agree on the point that all your misery or your happiness, your sadness or your joy, is nothing but your projection. It is coming deep from your unconscious mind and the other person is functioning only like a screen. Once it is fulfilled, you are finished. And suddenly, the same woman you were ready to die for.you are ready to kill her.
Strange.such a great change. Love turns into hate so easily. And yet you are not aware that love and hate both are your projections. When one is finished, the other remains there.
It is true that once you are free from suffering, you are truly free. All that Bodhidharma is saying is right. But he has not answered the question.
I want to say to you that nobody has answered the question. And the reason is because life is a mystery. You can go only so far, and then all your mind has to be left behind and you enter into existence where no question is relevant, no answer ever comes to you. But you can enjoy the experience immensely. I am all for experience, not for knowledge.