Chapter 28: When Buddhas Rebel
“Do you see any possibility for me to jump from my mind into my heart and stay there? Is it possible for me to know love?” It is everybody’s birthright - but one has to claim it. And love is so precious, unless you claim it, you are going to miss it. There is every possibility for you to shift your energy from the head to the heart, and I would like to add also from the heart to the being - because the heart is only a half-way station. You can have a little stopover, change trains; you can have some breakfast, and rest a little before the train that goes to the being leaves the platform.
The heart is not the goal; the heart is only a means to attain the being. All these are possible for you, Nitin, just as they are possible for anybody else; but you have to put your conceptions in the right order. It may hurt, it may be painful - all surgery is painful - but if you are courageous enough, you can move through the surgery and you will come out of it healed, healthier, more wholesome.
You came because your wife came; you simply followed her. And you tried, deep in your unconscious, to compete with her - but the head cannot win in any competition with the heart. But nothing is lost; even if after ten years you recognize the reality, the change will start happening.
The greatest problem in life is to go on living with false notions. Then you are so full of false notions that the truth has no space for itself. First destroy the false notions. Create space for the guest, and once your space is ready - your silence, your peace, your serenity - the guest comes without delay. He is standing just outside your door. He has been waiting for many lives for you to open your doors and let the sun and the wind and the rain come in, because God comes with the sun, with the rain, with the wind. And throw out all the junk that you have gathered inside you.
The moment you are spacious, you have not to do anything else - that space will be filled with the presence of the divine. And then you will know what love is, what trust is, what openness is: the greatest treasures in life.
I am still so much in doing. To me, doing is much more natural than being, and in this way I feel to express my love and devotion to you. But is it true love? Many years ago I told you that I felt like being a warrior in the West. Also now I have the same feeling. Does that mean that I don’t move much on the path to become a meditator?
I am aware that you are still “so much in doing,” and you are expressing and exposing yourself very authentically. You are saying to me, “Doing is much more natural than being.” Just one thing you are not aware of: you can compare two things only if you know them both.
You know doing, but you don’t know being; hence, please don’t compare. Being is only an empty word for you - doing is full of excitement. But this is how people go on living: in deceptions.
Doing can give you excitement. Being can give you ecstasy.