Chapter 21: Be Here and Delight
This is nothing but a negative tape in your mind. Once you get into the rut, it goes on repeating. So next time this negative tape starts functioning, close your room and sit there; and tell the negative tape that you will give it ten minutes, you will listen to it for ten minutes then it is not to disturb you anymore, that you are fed up with it.
Rather than being fed up with your boyfriend, be fed up with this negative habit, and when you are in a negative mood avoid meeting him. Nobody is interested in anybody else’s negativity. Take a pillow and talk to it, beat it, write nasty things on it, and be clear of them. When you have finished with your rubbish, then go laughing to him; call him and tell him the whole story of what has been happening all day - and he will enjoy it, he will understand.
Everybody is here in search of his own happiness - become partners in the search. Why create fighting? There is no point(and you are not crazy! You understand, and people who can understand that they can feel crazy sometimes are not mad. You cannot convince a madman that he is crazy. If you can, that means he is already recovering.
One grows out of these sufferings - you are growing, that’s all. And sometimes be crazy but don’t make so much fuss about it, mm? So many crazy people are here; all the crazy people of the world are coming here, (laughter) so nobody can say that he is the craziest. Impossible!
Just talk to him, and when everything is okay and flowing, come together, mm? Good.
I’ve been feeling a sense of letting go of all of the things - my sense of self-image, of who I am, and my attachment to all these things. I don’t understand it all yet, but I don’t feel it means I won’t be making films, or that I won’t be being an artist or(I don’t feel it’s the end of that, but rather the beginning of it in a different way.
A beginning of a totally different way. And for the first time you will be able to do much creative work. Something better, something deeper will come, as if out of the blue.
In fact, all creative work can be done in two ways: either you do it through the mind, or through no-mind. You can do it through your thoughts, but all thoughts are borrowed. Howsoever you try to make it original and new, at the most it remains a modified form - nothing new is born.
If you start meditating, a moment comes when you don’t think about it. Out of a non-thinking emptiness something bubbles up, something from you takes shape. It surprises you as much as it surprises others. All great artists, whatever the medium of work, are surprised when a new thing comes to them; they cannot believe that it is out of them. It is something from the beyond.