Chapter 8: Beyond Mother’s Knees
He started moving from the shore but Bayazid called out loudly, “Don’t go. Come nearer, because a judgment from that far can be wrong.” And judgments are always from a distance. In fact if you judge, the distance cannot disappear. Just to remain a judge you have to be at a certain distance. If you move closer you will lose the capacity to judge, you will become so intimate you will get involved, you will be committed. You will lose the clarity of judgment.
Seeing that Bayazid had seen him the king felt a little awkward and embarrassed, but when he had seen him and was calling him, it was difficult to go away. And there was also a lingering curiosity inside: What was happening here?
He came nearer. Bayazid said, “Now what do you decide? The right moment has come for me to accept you. What do you say?”
The king laughed, and said, “You are not even worthy to be my servant, so how can you pretend to be my master?”
Bayazid said, “So you take back your idea of being initiated by me? If you take it back, then the reality can be revealed to you.” He threw back the screen under which the woman was hiding, the burqa, the cover, the veil Mohammedans use. The king could not believe his eyes: the woman was Bayazid’s mother. And then Bayazid gave the flask of “wine” to him and said, “Taste it. It is nothing but pure, colored water.”
The king fell at the feet of Bayazid and said, “Accept me.”
Bayazid said, “You have missed. If you judge, you cannot trust - and you can judge from that faraway distance? No, we are not made for each other.”
This situation Bayazid created so that he could show the king that judgment can never be trusting.
Trust is a blind leap.
It is not that you judge that the jump is worth it. No, if you have taken the jump with judgment you have not yet taken it. If you have taken it by your own values, mind, you have not taken it, because the jump is possible only when you drop judging.
Through judgment you can never be intimate with a master. Judgment creates barriers. Only through trust an intimacy arises, and that intimacy is deeper than any love; hence it is blind. But to see the other world you have to be blind in this world, because when these eyes are closed, your other eyes open. Blindness in spirituality is the capacity to see. Your eyes stop looking at the outside and you start a new journey inwards.
Remember, judgment can never lead you to trust, and if judgment has led you to trust, that trust is false, not rightly grounded. Underneath there is nothing but sand and foam. Your house is going to fall any moment. It is better to abandon it before it falls and destroys you.
The second thing to remember is: You may be inquiring but that doesn’t mean you are ready to receive. There are curious people who go on inquiring about higher things, but they never mean it because they are not ready to take any risk. They are not ready to put themselves at stake. They are curious people, in a way childish, inquiring about each and every thing as if just by inquiry you can attain to truth.