Chapter 8: Tozan’s Five Pounds
It is not a question of dozens of times - you also trust, but dozens of times. That trust cannot be very deep, it is just utilitarian. You trust whenever you feel it pays. But whenever the unknown knocks you never trust, because you don’t know whether it is going to pay or not. Faith and trust are not a question of utility - they are not utilities, you cannot use them. If you want to use them, you kill them. They are not utilitarian at all. You can enjoy them, you can be blissful about them - but they don’t pay.
They don’t pay in the terms of this world; on the contrary, the whole world will look at you as a fool, because the world thinks someone wise if he doubts, the world thinks someone wise if he questions, the world thinks someone wise only when he moves a step with conviction, and before he is convinced he will not move. This is the cunning and the cleverness of the world - and the world calls such people wise!
They are fools as far as Buddha is concerned, because through their so-called wisdom they are missing the greatest, and the greatest cannot be used. You can merge with it, you cannot use it. It has no utility, it is not a commodity; it is an experience, it is an ecstasy. You cannot sell it, you cannot make a business out of it - rather, on the contrary, you are lost in it completely. You will never be the same again. In fact you can never come back - it is a point of no return: if you go, you go. You cannot go back, there is no going back. It is dangerous.
So only very courageous people can enter on the path. Religion is not for cowards. But you will find in churches, temples, mosques - cowards: they have destroyed the whole thing. Religion is only for the very very courageous, for those who can take the most dangerous step - and the most dangerous step is from the known towards the unknown; the most dangerous step is from the mind to no-mind, from questioning to no-questioning, from doubt to trust.
Before we enter this small but beautiful anecdote - it is just like a diamond: very small but very valuable - a few more things are to be understood. One: you will be able to understand it only when you can take a jump, when you can bridge, somehow, the known with the unknown, mind with no-mind. Second thing: religion is not at all a question of thinking; it is not a question of right thinking, that if you think rightly you will become religious - no! Whether you think rightly or wrongly you will remain unreligous. People think that if you think rightly you will become religious; people think that if you think wrongly you will go astray.
But I tell you, if you think, you will go astray - rightly or wrongly is not the point. If you don’t think, only then are you on the path. Think and you miss. You have already gone off on a long journey, you are no longer here, now; the present is missed - and reality is only in the present.