Chapter 4: Trust Cannot Be Betrayed
There are people who enjoy their lovesickness tremendously: weeping, crying, waiting, fantasizing, poeticizing, reading, writing poetry, painting, making music - all substitutes. The real woman is dangerous. The real woman only looks musical from far away. Come close and she is a real woman. She is not a fairy, not a fiction; her reality will have to be reckoned with. And when a woman comes close to you, not only is she real but she brings you down from your ivory towers to the earth.
In all the cultures of the world woman is represented as the earth and man as the sky. The woman is very earthbound; she gravitates towards the earth. She is more earthly than man, more practical, more pragmatic than man. That’s why you don’t find great women poets, you don’t find great women painters or great women composers, no. They don’t fly in the sky so much. They grip the earth, they penetrate the earth with their roots and stand there like strong trees. Man is more like a bird. When man becomes married, the woman brings him also to the earth, to the practical world. Poets don’t like to be married. They want to remain in love always, they don’t want to cure that sickness.
People fall in love with a married woman - this is a halfway house, it is a trick. They can believe that they are in love and they can avoid it also. Love creates great fear because love is a challenge, a great challenge. You will have to grow. You cannot remain juvenile and immature; you will have to grapple with the realities of life. Your so-called great poets are almost always very childish, immature people, still living in the fairyland of childhood. They don’t know what reality is, they don’t allow the reality to penetrate into their dreams.
A woman is a sure destroyer of fictions. She is not fictitious, she is a fact, a truth. So if you want to believe that you are in love and you still want to avoid love, it is good, safe, to fall in love with a married woman or a married man. This is very tricky, this is a deception, a self-deception.
Women are also afraid to fall in love with a free man, because with the free man or free woman there is involvement - a twenty-four-hour involvement. With a married woman the involvement is not that big. You can have a few stolen kisses, you can meet her somewhere in a dark corner, always afraid that the husband may be coming, somebody may see. It is always halfhearted, it is always in a hurry, and you don’t come to know the woman as she is in her twenty-four-hour life. You come to know only her painted face, you come to know only her performance, not her truth.
When a woman comes out of her house ready to go shopping, she is not the same woman. She is almost a different person: now she is a managed woman, now she is a performer. Women are great actresses. In the house they don’t look so beautiful; out of the house they suddenly become tremendously beautiful, joyful, cheerful, delighted. They again become small, giggling girls in love with life. Their faces are different, radiant: their eyes are different, their makeup, their performance..