Chapter 51: Coming Back to Existence
Shiva says that it will be good to do this technique in a rainy night when everything is black, when clouds are there and no stars can be seen and the sky is completely dark. In a black night when there is no moon.enter that blackness as the form of forms. Be a witness to that blackness, and then dissolve yourself into it. It is the form of all forms. You are a form - you can dissolve into it.
When there is light, you are defined. I can see you, the light is there. Your body has a definition. You are defined, you have boundaries. Boundaries exist because of the light. When the light is not there, boundaries are dissolved. In blackness nothing is defined, everything merges into every other thing. Forms disappear.
That may be one of the causes of our fear - because then you are not defined, then you don’t know who you are. The face cannot be seen, the body cannot be known. Everything merges into a formless existence. That may be one of the causes of fear - because you cannot feel your defined existence. Existence becomes vague and fear enters, because you don’t know now who you are. The ego cannot exist: undefined, it is difficult to exist as an ego. One feels afraid. One wants light to be there.
Contemplating, meditating, merging, it will be easier to merge into darkness than to merge into light, because light gives distinctions. Darkness takes away all distinctions. In the light you are beautiful or ugly, rich or poor. The light gives you a personality, a distinctness - educated, uneducated, saint or sinner. The light reveals you as a distinct person. Darkness envelops you, accepts you - not as a distinct person; it simply accepts you without any definitions. You are enveloped and you become one.
The darkness is doing it always, but because you are afraid you cannot understand it. put aside your fear and become one.
Enter that blackness as the form of all forms.
Enter that blackness.. How can you enter blackness? Three things. One: stare into blackness. Difficult. It is easy to stare at a flame, at any source of light, because it is there as an object, pointed; you can direct your attention to it. Darkness is not an object; it is everywhere, it is all around. You cannot see it as an object. Stare into the vacuum. All around it is there; you just look into it. Feel at ease and look into it. It will start entering your eyes. And when the darkness enters your eyes you are entering into it.
Remain with open eyes when doing this technique in the dark night. Don’t close your eyes, because with closed eyes you have a different darkness. That is your own, mental; it is not real. If is not real. Really, it is a negative part; it is not positive darkness. Here is light: you close your eyes and you can have a darkness, but that darkness is simply the negative of the light. Just as when you look at the window and then you close your eyes you have a negative figure of the window. All our experience is of light, so when we close our eyes we have a negative experience of light which we call darkness. It is not real, it won’t do.