Chapter 21: The Most Blissful Moment - When You Cannot Find Yourself
“It was not only just a beautiful dream, it had something to do with finances too. A man was promising to give me money, and we were haggling. He wanted to purchase something, and I had brought him up to ninety-nine rupees. But I was stubborn - I was trying to bring him to one hundred rupees; and it was only a question of one rupee. And the thing I was selling was not worth twenty rupees. I would have given it to him for ninety-nine, but I wanted to see the man accurately, and I wanted to count the money accurately. The glasses were needed.
“After I put on the glasses, I was saying to the man, ‘Wherever you are, come back! Okay - ninety-nine I will accept, ninety-eight I will accept. I am willing to give it even for ninety.’ But nobody responded. Just because of these glasses the whole profit was lost. And I don’t know if I can ever meet this man again, because in the first place I cannot recognize him without my glasses. Even if I meet him tomorrow on the street, I will not be able to recognize him, because what I was seeing I don’t know whether it was true or not true.”
People are so accustomed to their glasses that they become almost their substitute eyes. Then it is dangerous. Your eyes need a little freedom: once in a while take the glasses off. And there are a few exercises available. Do those exercises which will make your eyes stronger, healthier, and perhaps you may not need the glasses at all.
My whole life I have been struggling with two huge desires: a desire to love and be loved, and the desire to understand and be understood. To see how misunderstood you are by the world and by your friends astounds me, and your not being affected by it astounds me even more. For the past ten years I have been consumed with desire to understand you every minute of every day. Today I feel I don’t understand anything, and yet my desire to be understood has diminished. When you speak, the joy of being beyond these two dualities is heaven.
The desire to love and to be loved, the desire to understand and to be understood are very instinctive, very natural - but very binding, imprisoning. That’s why - even if for a few moments listening to me - if you can forget these two desires, in that transcendence you will find the ultimate in joy.
I have been misunderstood perhaps more than anyone else ever, but it has not affected me, for the simple reason that there is no desire to be understood. It is their problem if they don’t understand, it is not my problem. If they misunderstand, it is their problem and their misery. I am not going to waste my sleep because millions of people are misunderstanding me. If I was concerned about being understood they would have driven me mad. But they have not been able to even scratch a little bit.
All their misunderstanding is their problem. They are suffering from it, they are paying for it. Why should I be bothered by it? I have said what I felt is true. I have said it, not to be understood - I have said it because I wanted to share. If they are not willing, it is up to them; I cannot force them.