Chapter 52: Entering This Moment
And desiring is the problem, not what you desire; that is not the problem. What you desire is not the problem - that you desire is the problem. Now you are again desiring and you will be frustrated again. If you achieve, you will be frustrated. If you don’t achieve, you will be frustrated. The same will happen to you, because you have not been able to see the point, you have missed the point.
You cannot desire meditation, because meditation happens only when there is no desire. You cannot desire liberation, nirvana, because it happens only in a desireless state. It cannot be made an object of desire. So to me, and to all those who know, desiring is the world; not that you desire worldly things. Desiring, the very phenomenon of desiring, is the world.
And when you desire, impatience is bound to be there, because the mind doesn’t want to wait, the mind doesn’t want to postpone. It is impatient. Impatience is the shadow of desire. The more intense the desire, the more impatience will be there. And impatience will create disturbance. So how will you achieve meditation? Desire will create movement of the mind, and then desiring will create impatience, and impatience will bring you to more disturbances.
So it happens, and I observe it daily, that a person who was living a very worldly life was not ordinarily so disturbed. When he starts to meditate, or to seek the religious dimension, he becomes more disturbed, more than ever. The reason is that now he has an even keener desire, more impatience. And with the worldly things, things were so real and objective that he could wait for them. They were always in his reach. Now in the spiritual realm things are so elusive, so far away, they never seem to be in reach. Life seems to be very short, and now the object of desires seems to be infinite - there is more impatience and then more disturbance. And with a disturbed mind, how can you meditate?
So this is the puzzle. Try to understand it. If you are really frustrated and you have come to feel that all that is outside is futile - money or sex or power or prestige just futile - if you have come to this realization, then a deeper realization is also needed. If these things are futile, then desiring is even more futile: you desire and desire and nothing happens - and your desiring creates the misery.
Look at the fact that desiring creates misery. If you don’t desire, there is no misery. So drop desiring. And don’t create a new desire; simply drop desiring. Don’t create a spiritual desire. Don’t say, “Now I am going to seek God. Now I am going to find this and that. Now I am going to realize the truth.” Don’t create a new desire. If you create, it shows you have not understood your misery.
Look at the misery that desire creates. Feel that desire is misery and drop it. No effort is needed to drop it. Remember, if you make an effort you will create another desire. That’s why you need some other desire, because then you can leave it. If some other desire is there, you can hang onto it. You can cling to the new desire and you can leave the old one. To leave the old is easy if some new is to be gained, but then you are missing the whole point. Simply leave desire because it is misery, and don’t create a new desire.