Chapter 10: Wholeness
The monk looked absolutely undisturbed. He said, “You are just a child, you are not a warrior. You will be killed immediately. Why are you asking for death unnecessarily?”
This made him still more angry, and then they both went out. The monk said, “I will not need the sword, because a real master never needs it. I am not going to attack you, I am only going to give you a chance to attack me so your sword is broken. You are no match for me. You are a child, and people will laugh at me if I take up the sword against you.”
It was too much! The young man jumped up - but then he saw that the monk was standing. Up until now the monk had been sitting; now he stood up, closed his eyes, and started swaying from side to side, left to right - and suddenly the young man saw that the monk had disappeared. There was only a pillar of energy -the face was no longer there, just a solid pillar of energy, swaying. He became afraid and started retreating, and the pillar of energy started moving towards him, swaying. He threw away his sword and screamed, “Save me!”
The monk sat down again and started laughing. His face came back, the energy disappeared, and he said, “I told you before: even your master is no match for me. Go and tell him.”
Perspiring, trembling, nervous, the disciple went back to his master and said, “How grateful I am for your compassion towards me. I am no match for you. Even that monk destroyed me completely. But one thing I couldn’t tolerate, why I got involved in it. He said, ‘Even your master is no match for me.’”
The master started laughing and said, “So that rascal played the trick on you too? You got angry? Then he could see through you, because anger is a hole in the being. And that has become his basic trick. Whenever I send somebody to him, he starts talking against me, and my disciples of course become angry. When they are angry, he finds out that they have loopholes, and when you have holes you cannot fight.”
Whenever you are angry, your being has leakages. Whenever you desire, your being has holes in it. Whenever you are jealous, filled with hatred, sexuality, you are not a pillar of energy. Hence buddhas have been teaching us to be desireless, because whenever you are desireless energy does not move outwards, energy moves within. It becomes an inner circle, it becomes an electric field, a bioelectric field. When that field is there, without any leakage, you are a pillar; you cannot be defeated. But you are not thinking of victory, remember, because if you are thinking of victory you cannot be a pillar of energy. Then that desire becomes a leakage.
You are weak - not because others are strong - you are weak because you are filled with so many desires. You are defeated, not because others are more cunning and clever - you are defeated because you have so many leakages.