Chapter 13: You Go on Drinking Poison
Just the other day, Latifa was crying, and today all the clouds have disappeared. She has taken the bold step. Intellectually she has been thinking and thinking for almost an eternity.because misery lengthens time so long - one hour passes as if it is one life. Hence I say she has been suffering as if for the whole eternity, knowing perfectly well - because I was continuously hammering her - that if you are miserable in a situation and the doors are open, why don’t you get out of that situation?
She wants to get out, but clings; she is afraid of the open, is afraid of the fresh air, is afraid of the unknown. Her deeper being feels the pull, the challenge, the excitement of the unknown, but her superficial mind thinks of security, safety. And who knows? - you may fall into a worse condition. At least this misery is well known, and you have somehow become accustomed - in fact, so habituated that a fear somewhere in the corner of your being lurks: are you capable of surviving without it?
It is miserable but at least there is something. You are not alone, and you are not empty; you are full of misery, and you can depend on it that tomorrow also the misery will be there. You need not be worried that tomorrow maybe you will be empty and alone. So one becomes a mess inside.
But finally, Latifa came to her senses, took the bold step. And today she wrote a letter to me of tremendous gratitude, saying that she feels as if a cancer has been removed from her being; she feels clean, healthy, happy, light - the whole burden has disappeared. And this was the cancer she was clinging to.
But you can experience the joy and the freedom and the lightness and the open sky, only when you drop clinging; there is no other way.
But people are such that even when they have come here and they have been listening to me, they are managing what to listen to, what not to listen to. Whatever gives nourishment to their prejudices, they are open to, very happy that their convictions are being supported. The moment I say something that goes against their convictions - and those convictions are their misery, the foundation of their suffering and their hell - immediately they close themselves. But how long can you keep yourself closed? I go on hitting you from every dimension, every direction. Sooner or later you have to listen.
Then too, such is human stupidity that people start defending themselves. I sometimes wonder why you are wasting your time. If you are here to defend yourself, that you can do very well wherever you are. It will be easier to defend yourself somewhere else; here it will be very difficult. I will not allow you to defend yourself, because by defending yourself you are defending all your miseries; they are synonymous. You and your miseries, you and your suffering, you and your ideology - they are not separate.
Your personality is your hell, and I have to hammer it and bring out your individuality, which is a totally different phenomenon - that which you had brought with you when you were born. This personality is a cover that has been put over you by the society; it is a mask. But you have lived with the mask so long that you have started thinking it is your original face. In their sleepiness people go on defending that which is their cancer.