Chapter 10: He Sings and Dances and Cries
So the first and the most basic step towards love is love of oneself; but it has no self in it. Let me explain it to you.
The “I” arises only as a contrast to the “thou.” “I” and “thou” exist together. The “I” can exist in two dimensions. One dimension is “I-it”: you, your house; you, your car; you, your money - “I-it.” When there is this “I,” this “I” of “I-it,” your “I” is almost like a thing. It is not consciousness; it is fast asleep, snoring. Your consciousness is not there. You are just like things, a thing amidst things: part of your house, part of your furniture, part of your money.
Have you watched it? A man who is too greedy about money, by and by starts having the qualities of money. He becomes just money. He loses spirituality, he is no longer a spirit. He is reduced to a thing. If you love money, you will become like money. If you love your house, by and by you will become material. Whatsoever you love, you become. Love is alchemical. Never love the wrong thing, because it will transform you. Nothing is so transforming as love. Love something which can raise you higher, to higher altitudes. Love something beyond you. That is the whole effort of religion: to give you a love-object like God so that there is no way to fall down. One has to rise.
One sort of “I” exists as “I-it,” another sort of “I” exists as “I-thou.” When you love a person, another type of “I” arises in you: “I-thou.” You love a person, you become a person.
But what about self-love? - there is no “it” and there is no “thou.” “I” disappears, because “I” can exist only in two contexts: “it” and “thou.” “I” is the figure, “it” and “thou” function as the field. When the field disappears the “I” disappears. When you are left alone, you are, but you don’t have an “I,” you don’t feel any “I.” You are simply a deep amness. Ordinarily we say “I am.” In that state, when you are deep in love with yourself, “I” disappears. Only amness, pure existence, pure being remains. It will fill you with tremendous bliss. It will make you a celebration, a rejoicing. There will be no problem in distinguishing between them.
If you are getting more and more miserable, then you are on the trip of being an egomaniac. If you are becoming more and more tranquil, silent, happy, together, then you are on another trip - the trip of self-love. If you are on the trip of ego you will become destructive to others - because the ego tries to destroy the “thou.” If you are moving towards self-love, the ego will disappear. And when the ego disappears, you allow the other to be himself or herself - you give total freedom. If you don’t have any ego you cannot create an imprisonment for the other you love, you cannot create a cage. You allow the other to be an eagle in the high heavens. You allow the other to be himself or herself - you give total freedom.