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Chapter 10: Seeing Double

Deep love creates deep fear. It looks like death because the I disappears, the you disappears - and it is a sort of death. And when you die, only then do you enter into the divine. But then the divine is no more a God, you cannot address him; hence no prayer exists in Buddhism. So Christians can’t believe what type of religion Buddhism is: no prayer? “How can you pray?” Buddha said. “Because the prayer can be possible only with a division - I praying, thou listening - how can you pray?”

In Buddhism only meditation exists. Try to understand the difference: prayer continues with the old division of I and thou, meditation drops the division. Prayer has to lead finally to meditation. Prayer cannot be the final thing. It is beautiful, but it is not the ultimate. The ultimate can only be this: when both have disappeared and only oneness exists. Tremendous.vast! You become afraid of it! All the cozy divisions of I and thou disappear. All relationship disappears - that is the fear; that’s what Buber is afraid of. He’s afraid that if there is no I and no thou, the whole phenomenon will be so tremendous and so terrible and fear-creating.because no relationship is possible.

Relationship gives you a home; relationship gives you a feeling of coziness; relationship gives you something which does not look like a tremendum, which is not fear-creating. Meditation has to be the ultimate, because prayer can never lead to the nondual - and this is what the master is saying. He says:

“So long as you see double, saying I don’t, and you do, and so on, your eyes are clouded.”

Division is the clouding. Through division is the mist in the eyes, through division is the dust in the eyes, through division your eyes are murky, cloudy, distorted. Drop the division and the Way is there.

But a curious mind goes on and on and on. The monk could have become enlightened at that moment, because enlightenment is nothing but a clarity, an understanding. Such profound truths - and the seeds go on missing, because the man is just a highway, the man is not a right soil. He said again:

“When there is neither I nor you, can one see it?”

Look: avoid this tendency of being curious. He is not listening at all, he has not understood a single word, he has not felt anything - he goes on and on, and on the same surface, at the same level, not even an inch deeper. His questioning is not an inquiry now, rather a reaction: whatsoever the master says, he reacts. Whenever this happens it means that when the master is speaking he is thinking at that moment also, preparing the next question. He is not listening.

“When there is neither I nor you, can one see it?”

He will again be expecting. Whenever you ask a question of someone you already have an expected answer. If it fits with your expected answer, then the man is right; if it doesn’t fit, then this man is talking nonsense.