Chapter 18: No Guilt
If you are ready even to abandon your life, you will rise to the ultimate peak of your consciousness. That’s why the path is called the razor’s edge, because it is risky. One has to risk everything to find that ultimate splendor. It cannot be found without risking everything for it; you cannot hold something back. Without holding anything back - if you are ready to abandon your life, you can find it this very moment.
If you cannot abandon your life, just keep to where your doubt remains unbroken for a while.
He is suggesting a beautiful meditation again. If you cannot abandon your life because of your doubts, because of - who knows? If you abandon your life and nothing happens, no enlightenment, then you cannot even complain! You cannot even go to the police station and report that, “These people are deceiving. They say, ‘Abandon your life!’ - I abandoned my life and no enlightenment, nothing.”
Once your life is gone, it is gone; you cannot complain. The risk is total. You cannot hold back a little bit, so that if it does not happen you can at least inform others, “Don’t believe such a thing. I have abandoned almost ninety-nine percent of my life. Just one percent I am keeping to inform others, as a warning.” But that is not the way it works: either you risk one hundred percent, or you don’t risk at all.
But if you doubt, then there are other ways. There is no need to feel hopeless. If you cannot abandon your life, just keep to where your doubt remains unbroken for a while.
Just remain alert to your doubt. It cannot remain forever on the screen of your mind. That’s the beauty of all the meditations: they can finally can be reduced to watchfulness. From any direction you can come to watchfulness. Just watch the doubt, and go on looking at it. It will not remain there forever. Even if it remains for just a few seconds, that will be a great achievement. Soon it will disperse in the smoke, leaving a silent space behind it.
.suddenly you will consent to abandon your life.as the doubt disappears without any effort on your part. If you repress the doubt it will remain. Don’t repress, just watch - and it will disappear into thin air, and you will be ready suddenly to abandon your life.
And then you will be done. Only then will you believe that when quiet it is the same as when noisy, when noisy it is the same as when quiet, when speaking it is the same as when silent, and when silent it is the same as when speaking.
Once you are ready to abandon even your life, which is our deepest longing.We can abandon money, we can abandon family, we can abandon everything - but when it comes to abandoning life, that is the last thing we would like to save.