Chapter 18: Sailing in Rough Waters
Unless mystery dissolves, man cannot rest at peace. The universe must be demystified, everything must be known, no secret should be allowed to remain a secret. So they - men - devised all the methods: Buddha is a man, Jesus is a man, Zarathustra is a man, Mahavira is a man, Krishna is a man, Lao Tzu is a man. No woman comparable to them has ever existed who devised any methods. There have been women who became enlightened, but even then they could not devise methods, even then they followed. They cannot, because to devise a method, a methodology, a path, an aggressive mind is needed.
Women can wait, and they can wait infinitely, their patience is infinite. It has to be so, because a child has to be carried for nine months. Every day it becomes heavier and heavier and heavier, and more and more difficult. You have to be patient and wait, and nothing can be done about it. You even have to love your burden, and wait and dream that the child will be born. And look at a mother, a woman who is just about to be a mother: she becomes more beautiful, because when she waits she flowers. She attains a different type of grace, an aura surrounds her when she is going to become a mother, because now she is at her peak, the basic function her body has been devised by nature to fulfill. Now she is blooming, soon she will flower.
And look at her dreams: no mother, or a woman about to be a mother, can think that an ordinary boy or girl is going to be born; the unique child is always in her dreams. A few dreams have been recorded: Buddha’s mother dreamed, Mahavira’s mother dreamed, and in India they have a tradition of recording the dreams of the mother whenever an enlightened person is born. But I always suspect that this is how every mother dreams. You may not record her dreams, that’s another thing, because they are not needed, but every mother dreams she is going to give birth to a god. Otherwise is not possible. Buddha’s mother’s dream has been recorded, that’s the only difference; your mother’s has not been recorded. Otherwise you will come to know that she was also dreaming of a Buddha, a Jesus, something unique. Because it is not a question of giving birth, she is going to be born through it.
Whenever a child is born, not only is the child born - that is one part of it - the mother is also born. Before that she was an ordinary woman; through the birth she becomes a mother. On one side the child is born, on the other side the mother is born. And a mother is totally different from a woman: a gap exists, her whole existence becomes qualitatively different. Before that she may have been a wife, a beloved, but suddenly that is no longer so important. A child is born, a new life has entered: she becomes a mother.
That’s why husbands are always afraid of children. Basically they never like children because a third party enters into the relationship; not only enters, but the third party becomes the center. And after that the woman is never the same wife, she is different. After that, if a husband really wants love he has to become just like a son, because this woman who has become a mother can never be an ordinary wife again. She has become a mother, you cannot do anything about it now. The only thing left is that you become a son to her. That is the only way you can get her love again, otherwise the love will be moving toward her son.