Chapter 5: Be a Chaos at Ease
But tomorrow is beautiful because tomorrow is total freedom. Nobody knows what is going to happen; whether you will be breathing, whether you will be alive at all - nobody knows. Hence there is beauty, because everything is in a chaos, a challenge, and everything is existing as a possibility.
Don’t ask for consolations. If you go on asking, you will remain insecure. Accept insecurity. Then insecurity disappears and you are no longer insecure. It is not a paradox - it is a simple truth; paradoxical, but absolutely true. Up to now you have existed, so why be worried about tomorrow? If you could exist today, if you could exist yesterday, tomorrow will take care of itself too. Don’t think of the morrow, and move freely.
Just having the understanding, immediately you feel at ease. But that ease is not that of security, that ease is not that of death, that ease is not of the grave. That ease has tremendous chaos in it, but it is still ease, because you are not asking for more, so there is no tension. A chaos at ease - that’s how a man should be. When you carry a revolution within you, every moment brings a new world, a new life; every moment becomes a new birth.
You are unnecessarily creating trouble for yourself. You can go on creating it if you like, but one day or other you will have to realize the fact that it is you who is creating the trouble, not life.
Just try not to ask for security. For three weeks live in total insecurity - and enjoy it. Your worries and your demands about security and certainty are creating barriers so that you cannot have contact, you cannot flow. So drop all that, and for three weeks try a life of insecurity.
I’m blocked in all my relationships with women. There was one time when I was blocked with her, [the previous questioner, his girlfriend] and I wanted to leave, to go out. Then today I felt a prisoner in this relationship. I wanted to go out..
But at the same time I want to work with her, to be with her - there is a contradiction.
No, if you want to go, go, and escape as far as you can - run, mm? And when the second idea comes, come back.
There is a need to withdraw and then to come together again; it is a rhythm. It is not a problem at all. You cannot be with a person for twenty-four hours in the same mood. No, when the need is not there, be separate.