Chapter 1: I Am a Beginning and an End
My whole being bows to your feet, but it is very difficult for me to take my eyes from your beautiful, radiant being, when you greet us coming and going in the morning. Am I missing by peeking? Is this attachment to your physical presence and form something that has to be transcended?
Yoga Prem - alias “Big Prem” - you are simply big; such is your innocence and such is your love.and such is your ignorance! You don’t have to transcend your love for my presence, you have to transcend the idea that you are there.
To make it simple for you, it almost always happens that whenever it is said, “Transcend love, transcend compassion,” the listener understands that he has to drop them. Transcendence does not mean dropping them. Transcendence means dropping yourself - so only pure love, without a lover and without a beloved, remains.
The purity in which lover and the beloved have disappeared is what is called transcendence; the trust in which the disciple and the master have dissolved. The question is of dissolving the duality.
Looking at your mind and its way of functioning, you have totally misunderstood - but not knowingly, not because of any prejudice; it is simply how the mind functions, how it protects itself.
You say, “My whole being bows to your feet.” When your whole being bows to my feet you should not be there. If you are still there, then it is not whole. I am not here, you are not there, and there is bound to appear a beautiful flower of tremendous gratitude. You don’t have to transcend it, because by transcending it you are going to become more egoistic, more of an “I.” You have to dissolve yourself, and in your dissolution transcendence will flower on its own accord.
You cannot do a few things. For example you cannot go to sleep - sleep comes to you. Ask those people who cannot sleep, who find it difficult to sleep, who do every kind of stupid thing to sleep: take a hot shower, do some monkey exercises called yoga, then lying down on the bed do transcendental meditation, and in between go on watching television. But nothing helps. When you are tired of all these transcendental meditations and yogic exercises and television nonsense, when you are utterly tired of the effort to bring sleep, suddenly it comes. It does not even knock on the door. It does not even ask you, “Can I come in, sir?” Without whispering, without making any noise it comes. You cannot find its coming; only in the morning you know, when you wake up - “My god, I have been asleep!”
No effort can bring sleep, because every effort keeps you awake. Effort is intrinsically part of awareness and sleep needs you to forget everything, drown yourself in forgetfulness, relax. Don’t even bother about sleep - whenever it comes it comes; if it does not come you don’t care a bit - and it comes.
You are saying, “But it is very difficult for me to take my eyes from your beautiful, radiant being when you greet us coming and going in the morning. Am I missing by peeking?”