Chapter 31: From Sound to Inner Silence
If you can catch that moment, you have known a taste of what Buddha might have known. And once known, you can detach this taste from the incoming-outgoing breath. Then the breath can go on coming in, going out, and you can remain in that quality of consciousness that you have come to know. It is always there; one has just to discover it. And it is easier to discover when life is emptied out.
Silently intone a word ending in “ah.” Then in the “hh,” effortlessly, the spontaneity.
And when the breath goes out, “hh,” everything is emptied. effortlessly: in this moment, there is no need to make any effort. The spontaneity: just be aware, be spontaneous, be sensitive, and realize this moment of death.
In this moment you are just near the door, just near the door! - very, very near to the ultimate. The immediate has moved out, the superfluous has moved out. In this moment you are not the wave: you are the ocean - just near, just near! If you can become aware you will forget that you are a wave. Again the wave will come, but now you can never be identified with it, you will remain the ocean. Once you have known that you are the ocean, you can never again be the wave.
Life is waves. death is the ocean. That is why Buddha so much insists about his nirvana that it is death-like. He never says you will attain life immortal, he says you will simply die totally. Jesus says, “Come to me and I will give you life, and life abundant.” Buddha says, “Come to me to realize your death. I will give you death totally.” And both mean the same thing, but Buddha’s terminology is more basic. But you will become afraid of it. That is why Buddha had no appeal in India; he was uprooted completely. And we go on saying that this land is a religious land, but the most religious person couldn’t get roots here.
What type of religious land is this? We have not produced another Buddha; he is incomparable. And whenever the world thinks India to be religious, the world remembers Buddha - no one else. Because of Buddha, India is thought to be religious. What type of religious land is this? Buddha has no roots here; he was totally uprooted. He used the language of death - that is the cause, and brahmins were using the language of life. They say the brahman and he says nirvana: Brahman means life - life, infinite life; and Nirvana means just cessation, death - total death.
Buddha says, “Your ordinary death is not total; you will be born again. It is not total! You will be born again! I will give you a total death, and you will never be born again.” A total death means now no birth is possible. So this so-called death, Buddha says, is not death. It is just a rest period, you will become alive again. It is just a breath gone out. You will take the breath in again, you will be reborn. Buddha says, “I will give you the way so that the breath will go out and will never come in again - total death, nirvana, cessation.”