Chapter 6: The Two Concubines
The ego is always going to the complaint department. Whatsoever happens is meaningless, because even if God comes to you, you will say, “Wait, let me first reach the complaint book.” The ego is headed towards the complaint book, nothing can satisfy the ego.
The whole effort is useless; drop it. Simply efface yourself, abide in non-ego, abide in egolessness; drop self-consciousness and become more conscious, and then suddenly everything fits, suddenly everything falls into a harmony. Nothing is wrong, there is no injustice going on. You feel at home everywhere, and only in this moment of at-homeness does the existence take a new color; it becomes divine, it becomes spiritual - never before it.
So the search for God is not a search for some person outside of you. The search for God is a search for this moment of total fulfillment. Suddenly the door is open - it was never closed. It appeared closed to the ego. With no ego in between, the door is open. It has always been open.
Existence is open, you are closed; existence is simple, you are complex; existence is healthy, you are ill. Nothing is to be done to existence, something is to be done to you. And nobody else can do it for you, you have to do it.
Watch your self-consciousness, feel the misery that follows it like a shadow. If you want to get rid of the shadow you have to get rid of the ego. You have been trying to get rid of the shadow, but how can you get rid of the shadow? - it follows ego. You have to drop the ego, then the shadow disappears.
Enough for today.