Chapter 4: Kundalini Yoga: Returning to the Roots
To use psychological terms, the unconscious will always be in conflict with the conscious. The conscious will try to dominate it, because with the potential and its urge to manifest, the conscious is always in danger - because the conscious is under control and the potential is not, the unconscious is not. With the conscious you can manage, but with the explosion of the unconscious you will be in an insecurity. You will not be able to manage it. That’s the fear, the fear with the conscious - the mind part is always in fear of the major portion which is unconscious and has been pushed away. So there is another conflict - greater, vital and more deep a conflict - between the conscious and the unconscious; the energy which has become manifest and the energy which wants to be manifested.
These two conflicts, these two types of conflicts, are why you are not in harmony. And if you are not in harmony then your energies will become enemies to you. Energy needs movement, and movement is always from the unmanifest toward the manifest, from the seed toward the tree. It is always from the dark toward the light.
Energy needs movement and movement is possible only if there is no suppression. Otherwise the movement, the harmony, is destroyed and your energies turn into enemies against yourself. Then you become a house divided in itself, then you are not organic, then you become a crowd. Then you are not one, then you become many.
This is the situation as human beings exist. It should not be, because this is the ugliness and this is the misery. All bliss that is possible and all beatitude that is possible can come only when your life energy is in movement - and in easy movement, in relaxed movement, unsuppressed, uninhibited; integral and not fragmentary; not in conflict within itself, but one and organic, complementary, cooperative. If this happens that is what is meant by kundalini.
If your energies come to this harmonious, organic unity, the technical term in yoga for it is kundalini. It is just a technical term: all your energies in unity, in movement, in harmony, without any conflict; cooperative, complementary and organic. Then.then there is a transformation, unique and unknown.
When energies are in conflict, you are just relieving them. You are relaxed when your conflicting energies are released. Whenever you can brush them off, wash them off, you are released. You feel at ease. Only then are your energies thrown off. And whenever your energies are thrown off, your life, your vitality, your élan vital is downward, or outward - and both are the same.
The downward movement is the outward movement, and the upward movement is the inward movement. The more your energies go up, the more they go in. The more your energies go down, the more they go out. You can wash off your energies only if you throw them out. This is just like throwing off your own life, throwing yourself into bits and fragments, in installments. This is suicidal.
But we are all suicidal unless our life energies becomes one and harmonious, and the flow becomes inward. This is the same as upward, because inwardness is upwardness: the more you go in, the more you go up. These are not two dimensions: one dimension - up and in, and another direction - down and out. Unless energies are organic you are just wasting them. But through waste, through wastage, you feel relieved.