Chapter 1: Surrender Is Just a Beginning
Then each group will be a new opening, a new door, a new experience. You have never been there before, it is a new space - not only for those you are leading, but for you also. There will be many surprises. And unless it happens, sooner or later the leader is bound to become dull and bored - because it is a repetition. The members will be changing; they will be new again and again. For them it may be new, but for you it becomes just the old pattern. Never make it that way. This is possible only if you become possessed and you allow the infinite energy to move. It needs trust, it needs dying of the ego.
So remember me. Each time you start the group, remember me - and leave it to me. You simply become a vehicle and the possibility is tremendous. Then you will be more able to help people because you are not there, so nobody hinders. When the leader is there, the led also feels a resistance - the ego fight enters. When you are not there, things become very simple and easy.
So this has been good. But always remember - by and by you remove yourself, and then you become a worthy vessel of many many things. Good.
I’ve always had a problem with patience and I’ve been impatient a lot. Sometimes I feel it is good because I get moving, sometimes I feel it hinders me, being impatient.
Be patient with your impatience. If it is there, it is there. Don’t create a problem out of it, accept it. That too is an ego game - that you should not be impatient. Why? If one is, one is! Relax into it, use it. This is my understanding: that everything can be used, everything can become creative.
So it is not a question of whether impatience should be there or not. The question is how to use it if it is there, and if it is not there, then how to use the absence. Both can be used. Impatience simply shows energy - energy which is seeking pathways, energy which doesn’t know what to do, energy which is so much that it is overflowing. Don’t take a negative attitude about it - nothing is wrong in it. Be impatient and very patient. Allow it, use it, and soon you will see that even impatience has become a flowering.
Impatience can become an intensity, and it is if you take it rightly. It is a deep concern. When you are working on somebody and you are impatient, it simply shows that you love, that you are concerned, that you don’t want to waste time and energy. It shows that although you know everything is close by, this man is still missing. Jesus is impatient, very impatient, and that is the source of his tremendous attraction. Use impatience - it is energy, it is vitality.
Never label things negatively. If anger is there, use it. Be angry lovingly. And it is not a contradiction: it looks, appears paradoxical, but it is not - in existence it isn’t. In fact, in existence you are only angry when you love someone. If I love you, care about you, sometimes I will have to be angry. But behind that anger there will be love. Behind the curtain, love will be hiding.
Yes. I’ve felt more surrendered to you since I’ve been here.