Chapter 7: They Kill Lust with Lust
Lust is the same energy as love; the difference is only of direction. Lust moves downwards, love has started the uphill task. Lust is like the roots of a tree, love is like wings of a bird - but the energy is the same. All energy is the same. Energy as such is neutral. Unless you become conscious about it you cannot be creative.
And the downhill movement is very destructive: you are simply dissipating yourself. You are not getting any integration through it - what Gurdjieff used to call crystallization. Every moment you are poured with energy. Existence goes on pouring energy into you: through air, through water, food; through the sunlight, through the moonlight, and through a thousand and one other subtle influences. The universe goes on pouring its energy into you. What are you doing with that energy? Are you doing anything or simply wasting it? Are you creating something out of it? Are you getting a certain integrity, crystallization out of it? Or does it just come through one end and is lost through the other end?
There are many people who are just like a pipe: you pour one thing through one end, through the other end it goes out. Don’t be a pipe. When the energy is in you, do something with it so that something of it becomes a permanent part of you. Otherwise the whole life will be just a pipe: eating, defecating, drinking, urinating - just a pipe. Subtle juices are created by your energy. That’s what sex is; a very subtle juice. Now what are you doing with it? Are you doing anything with it, or just wasting it?
Lust is the lowest form of sex energy; love, the highest form. Unless your lust becomes love you will be missing your goal.
Gurdjieff used to say that there is a certain mechanism in man; he called it kundabuffer, just parallel to kundalini: kundalini is a center, but it functions only when the energy rises upwards. Kundabuffer is that center which functions in you when the energy goes downwards. Kundabuffer has to be destroyed, melted, destructured. It is a mechanism out of the continuous practice of many lives. A certain mechanism has arisen in everybody, a channel. The moment energy is ready it simply moves through that channel. That channel is already there to take it out of your being. If this is the truth and nothing else is possible, then Jean-Paul Sartre is right: that man is a useless passion. Then for a few days you are alive on the earth, doing nothing - eating things, throwing things, absorbing things, throwing things. Then what is the point of it all?
But this is not all. The kundabuffer can be melted; that channel can be broken. And once that channel is broken another channel starts functioning. It is already there waiting for you. Not that it does not exist; it exists. It has come with you but you have not used it yet. You have not allowed energy to flow into it. Of course, it is an uphill task, it is arduous. Going downhill is very easy; going uphill, strength, awareness, a certain will, courage, trust.many things will be needed.
The Bauls sing,