Chapter 78: The Inner Guide
The difference really cannot be taught to you - you will know it. When it happens, you will know it. How do you know the difference between when there is pain in your body and when the whole body feels a well-being? When the whole body is filled with well-being and when your head has a headache, how do you feel what the difference is? You simply know it. You cannot define it, you simply know it: you know what a headache is and you know what well-being is.
The real guide will always give you a feeling of well-being, and the Freudian unconscious will always give you a feeling of headache. It is a turmoil, it is an inner conflict, it is anguish, it is pain suppressed. So whenever it comes you will feel painful all over.
Because of this Freudian unconscious, many things have become painful which are not naturally painful For example, sex. Because society has repressed sex, it has become painful. One of the most blissful things in natural life is sex. But it has become painful. If you move into sex you will feel frustrated, you will feel guilty, at the end you will feel weakened. And you will decide never to have sex again. This is not because of natural sex, this is because of the unconscious. Sex has become painful. It has been so repressed that it has become ugly and painful Otherwise it is one of the most natural ecstasies. If a child is never taught that sex is bad and a sin he will enjoy it, and every time he will feel a deep well-being flowing all over the body.
Men feel more well-being than women - because women are repressed more. No one requires that a boy should be a virgin but everyone requires, even the boy himself, that the girl he is going to marry should be a virgin. Even playboys require that the girl should be a virgin. Women’s unconscious has been repressed more than men’s, that’s why only a few women achieve orgasm. And that, too, in the West - in the east not more than five per cent of women, at the most, achieve any enjoyment in sex. Ninety-five percent are simply fed up with it. That’s why when sadhus and monks teach that sex is sin, women always agree. They gather in multitudes around monks because the thing appeals to them, it is right. Because they are so suppressed they have never known any bliss out of it. In India, while making love, woman are not supposed to move, be active. They have to lie still like a corpse. If they are active their man will become suspicious: they are enjoying sex and this is not the sign of a good woman. A good woman is one who doesn’t enjoy. In the East they will say that if you want to marry, marry a good woman, and if you want to enjoy, then have a friendship with a bad woman - because only bad women can enjoy. This is unfortunate. The woman is not supposed to move, to be active, she should be just dead. How can she achieve orgasm when the energy is not moving?
And if she cannot enjoy it she is bound to be against the husband and she is bound to think that the husband is evil. Every day Indian women come to me and they say that they are fed up with sex and their husbands are forcing them again and again to have sex. They don’t like it, they are disgusted. And why are the husbands not so disgusted? Why are the women disgusted? The reason is that they have a greater repressed unconscious about sex than men.