Chapter 5: Beep Beep!
Suddenly one day he looked out to sea and there was a man on a raft who had obviously also been shipwrecked. Thinking at last there would be relief from his labors with the nymphomaniac, he swam out to hail the new arrival. The new man appeared to be quite effeminate looking and confirmed this by yelling out, “Hello there sweetheart! Am I glad to see you.”
Whereupon the sailor cried out, “Oh my God, there go my Sundays.”
I can understand how tired you must be, bored, with no hope, but this state can be transformed into a benediction. Because when man is really finished with sex, he can go very deep into meditation. The deeper your frustration with sex, the deeper is the possibility to go into meditation. Now, only meditation can help you.
You have been together too long. You have lived relationship intensely, now you need a deep relaxation so that you can forget all about others. And your going into your own being is certainly going to be deeper than any heterosexual or homosexual can go, because your helplessness and your hopelessness is double.
Rather than going on trying the same old game, move into aloneness. For a few days forget all about relationship. For the first time, relate with yourself, that’s what meditation is all about. Just be yourself. Relax and enjoy yourself. You have tried to enjoy others, now try to enjoy yourself.
Meditation is enjoying oneself, just sitting silently doing nothing: happy, joyous without any reason, because all reasons come from outside. You meet a beautiful woman and you are happy, or you meet a beautiful man and you are happy - but the meditator is simply happy. His happiness has no reason from the outside world; his happiness wells up within himself.
Relationship is happiness coming from the other, but have you watched, when happiness is coming from the other it must be welling up in the other, otherwise how will it reach you? And your happiness is reaching the other, you are both enjoying each other’s happiness; you are drinking out of each other’s well. And the well is there, otherwise how can you drink? But the woman that you love thinks she is enjoying your happiness - you are making her happy, you are the cause of her happiness. And you are thinking she is the cause of your happiness. But if you can both be causes to each other’s happiness, can’t you be a cause to your own happiness?
That’s what meditation is all about: sitting silently, enjoying yourself, swaying with joy; gliding into the inner world.
And if you are really tired, it will be easier to go in. And I am not saying that has to become your lifestyle. No, never make a fixed lifestyle; otherwise you will be bored again. When you are full of joy again, when you are full of energies, flowing, rejuvenated, when you have drunk your own wine and you are ready to share, you have to share, then relate again. Then go into relationship.