Chapter 5: Questions: Exposing Your Way from Ignorance to Innocence
Govind Siddharth’s enlightenment showed me that I am not connected with enlightenment at all. I cannot imagine how I would feel being enlightened. I realized how far away it is for me, and that I am not really seeking it.
Concerning myself, I have mostly forgotten about the state called enlightenment. I see that I am only longing for it when I am in a state of pain, and feel lost, and don’t know any more what to do. But in moments of happiness and fulfillment, enlightenment does not exist at all.
Would you please comment on this?
Lokita, enlightenment is absolutely un-Germanic. I have gone through all the great philosophers of Germany; nobody has any idea of enlightenment.
So you need not be worried. It simply shows you are a pure Nordic German, stuck with another German, Niskriya. One German is enough of a hindrance towards enlightenment, and two Germans together - it is impossible. You both will tug at each other’s legs and will not allow anybody to become enlightened!
And the idea of enlightenment has arisen because of Govind Siddharth’s enlightenment. It is not your longing or your search. This is what I have been calling borrowed. If it is not nature that is desiring something in you, a longing coming out of your very soul, out of your very roots, then don’t waste time on it.
That’s why when you are in pain, in misery, in anguish, you think of enlightenment and when you are happy and contented and enjoying yourself, you never think about it. In fact, if you are contented, happy and feeling pleasure, and I offer you enlightenment you will refuse it. You will say, “Osho, when I am in pain I will come myself. Don’t disturb my happiness at this moment. It is so difficult to be happy with Niskriya, and now you have come with enlightenment.” Remember: anything that comes out of pain and anguish and anxiety is at most an effort to escape from all these painful experiences.
Hearing again and again that enlightenment is blissful, you think that rather than suffering pain it is better to be enlightened. But when you are contented and feeling happy, joyful, no fight with Niskriya.because I know perfectly well that two Germans in one room must be fighting twenty-three hours a day at least. For one hour, naturally, they need rest and contentment. At that time if somebody comes and says, “Come on and this is enlightenment,” you will say, “No, not at this time; I have hardly got one hour of peace and you have come to disturb that peace also.”