Chapter 7: Just Working for Peanuts
Hinayana says there are four steps to drop out of sex. The first is called purifying. The second is called enriching. The third is called crystallizing. The fourth is called destroying.
First you have to move your total energy against sex, so that sexual habits developed in many lives no longer interfere - that is called purifying. You change your consciousness, you shift. From sexual obsession you move to anti-sexuality.
The second step is called enriching. When you have moved to nonsexuality, then you have to enjoy nonsexuality; you have to celebrate your celibacy. Because if you don’t celebrate your celibacy, again sex will start pulling you backwards. Once you start celebrating your celibacy, then the pull of sex will be completely gone, and gone forever.
You are obsessed with sex because you don’t know any other sort of celebration. So the problem is not sex really; the problem is that you don’t know any other celebration. Nature allows you only one joy, and that is of sex. Nature allows you only one enjoyment, that is of sex. Nature allows you only one thrill, and that is of sex.
Hinayana says there is a greater thrill waiting for you if you move towards celibacy. But the celibacy should not be violently forced. If you violently enforce it you will not be able to enjoy it. One has to be just aware of the sexual habits, and through awareness one has to shift by and by towards celibacy.
Celibacy should be brought very slowly. All that brings you again and again to sexuality has to be dropped slowly, in steps. And once you start enjoying the energy that becomes available, when you are not obsessed with sex, just that pure energy becomes a dance in you - that is called enriching. Now, your energy is not wasted. Your energy goes on showering on yourself.
Remember, there are two types of celibates. One: who has simply forced celibacy upon himself - he is a wrong type, he is doing violence to himself. The other: who has tried to understand sexuality, what it is, why it is; who has watched, observed, lived through it, and, by and by, has become aware of its futility; by and by, has become aware of a deep frustration that comes after each sexual act.
In the sexual act you have a certain thrill, a moment of forgetfulness, a moment of oblivion. You feel good for a few seconds, only for a few seconds you drop out of this routine world. Sex gives you a door to escape into some other world which is non-tense; there is no worry, you are simply relaxed and melting. But have you observed? After each sexual act you feel frustrated.