Chapter 12: You Cannot Crucify Truth
The twelfth saying:
Jesus said to his disciples:
Make a comparison to me and tell me whom I am like.
Simon Peter said to him: Thou art like a righteous angel.
Matthew said to him: Thou art like a wise man of understanding.
Thomas said to him: Master, my mouth will not be capable of saying whom thou art like.
Jesus said: I am not thy master, because thou hast drunk, thou hast become drunk from the bubbling spring which I have measured out.
And he took him, he withdrew, he spoke three words to him.
Now when Thomas came to his companions, they asked him: what did Jesus say to thee?
Thomas said to them:
If I tell you one of the words he said to me, you will take up stones and throw at me; and fire will come from the stones and burn you up.
Whenever there is a man like Jesus or Buddha, you try to escape from him in every possible way because he is just like a death to you. Of course, you will rationalize your escape, you will find clever reasons why you are escaping. You will argue in your mind, “That man is not a Christ, that man is not yet enlightened.” You will find something wrong in the man, so that you can feel at ease. You will avoid the man. It is dangerous to encounter him because he can live, he can see through you; you become transparent to him. You cannot hide yourself from him, you cannot hide the falseness that you are; before him, you are just like an open book.
And you have been hiding your whole life. Your whole life you have been trying to live a false, inauthentic life; you have been living in lies, and he will see through you. Before him you will become a trembling leaf; before him you will be reduced to your truth; before him you cannot manage your false image. He will be a catastrophe. So only those who are very courageous can come near to a Jesus. The greatest courage is needed to come near a man like Jesus. That means you are ready to take the jump into the abyss, you are ready to lose yourself.
To move with Jesus in the insecurity of the unknown, in the uncharted, in the ocean where the other shore is not visible, tremendous courage is needed. And this is the problem: very few will follow Jesus. Those who escape will miss him, and they will miss the very meaning of their own lives, because when you try to escape Jesus, deep down you are trying to escape from your own truth. He is nothing but your future: you are a seed, he is the tree; he has come to bloom, he is your future, he is your possibility. Escaping from him, you are escaping from your own ultimate possibility.