Chapter 15: Kiss or Kill
The dimension of the vertical is a totally different phenomenon: you jump out of mind. That’s what meditation is all about: you get out of the mind, you get out of the past and the future, you get out of time. You are no more thinking, you are no more dreaming, you are no more desiring. There is no memory, no imagination. All is silent. Then you can see the present, and you can see there is only present and nothing else. And present is eternal, in fact present is not part of time at all. Present is part of eternity; it is always now, it is never otherwise. And that is the yearning of the heart.
You are not being stupid because of the yearning of the heart, but you are misunderstanding it. You want a love which is born out of meditation, not born out of the mind. That is the love I continuously talk about. That is the love Jesus is speaking of, that love is godly. It is not your love; your love cannot be godly. Your love is only a mind phenomenon; it is biology, it is physiology, it is psychology, but it is not eternal. Eternal is of the essential being.
Desiderata will call my love essential and your love nonessential. The nonessential cannot become eternal. Even if you try to make it permanent you can manage, but it will die sooner or later. You can even befool yourself that it is still there; you can pretend at least as if it is there.
Millions of couples around the world are living as if it is there. They are living in a world of “as if.” Of course, how can they be joyous? They are drained of all energy, they are trying to get something out of a false love. It cannot deliver the goods, hence the frustration, hence the continuous boredom, hence the continuous nagging, fighting between the lovers. They both are trying to do something which is impossible; they are trying to make their love affair something of the eternal, which it cannot be. It has arisen out of the mind and mind cannot give you any glimpse of the eternal.
My suggestion is, if you are really ready to fulfill the longing of the heart, then forget all about love. First go into meditation, because love will come out of meditation. It is the fragrance of meditation. Meditation is the flower, the one-thousand-petalled lotus. Let it open, let it help you to move in the dimension of the vertical, no-mind, no-time, and then suddenly you will see the fragrance is there. Then it is eternal, then it is unconditional. Then it is not even directed to anybody in particular; it cannot be directed to anybody in particular. It is not a relationship; it is more a quality that surrounds you. It has nothing to do with the other. You are loving, you are love - then it is eternal, it is your fragrance. It has been around a Buddha, around a Zarathustra, around a Jesus. It is a totally different kind of love: it is qualitatively different.
You are asking only for a little more quantity - not one day but two days, three days, four days; not one life but a few lives - but anyway it is going to end. And the longer you stretch it, the thinner it will become, the more boring it will become, because it wants to die and you are stretching. And sometimes it dies but you are not able to drop it; you go on carrying the corpse. It stinks! Once it was a beautiful phenomenon; now it is simply dead and it stinks.