Chapter 14: Say It with Your Totality
I have been trying to say what an enlightened master is. I try from each angle, and every morning, when I sit at my piano, I try to sing the song from another perspective, with another tune, another melody.
But my people in the West have never heard such stories, and I can see that my words never reach the target. I can’t keep my mouth closed, and I go on trying to find the words to say it.
If I have to give a title to this book, it will be, “The Words to Say It” - because I can’t give up, I can’t show my silence - neither my tears, neither my laughter. Please, help me to find the words to say it, to explain to my people in the valley what enlightenment is, what an enlightened master is.
It is not only your difficulty, it is as old as man himself. The efforts that you are making have been made down the centuries by thousands of poets, painters, musicians, sculptors - all kinds of creative beings - trying to say that which cannot be said. They all have known it - that it cannot be said - but still, there is a tremendous longing in the heart of man to say it, to express it, to convey it to those he loves, to those he wants to understand.
There is a great challenge, perhaps the greatest.one experiences it, one feels it, one is almost very close to expressing it - but still, the target is missed. Because the target is continuously missed, the challenge becomes greater, bigger.
So I can understand your problem, but you will have to understand that there are things you can try to say but you will not succeed. One should not long for success either; just the effort is enough success. You tried your best, you put yourself totally into it. You were not half-hearted. But if, in the very nature of things it is impossible, what more can you do?
The experience of enlightenment happens when there are no words, no thoughts. The mind itself is left far behind. You cannot even hear the heartbeats; it is an absolute emptiness.
It is not light, it is not darkness. It is something beyond both.
What it is does not exist in the world we know. So there is no parallel, not even a far away symmetry which can give some indication about it. And whenever we want to say something about it, we will have to bring the mind in - which was not present in the experience. We will have to bring words in - which were absent.
This is the whole absurdity, that you are making eye-witnesses of those who were absolutely absent. They can try, but they are groping in the dark. All their efforts are so small, and the experience is so vast - no word can contain it.
Whenever I close my eyes, and I see, it is utter emptiness.not even a flicker - unlimited, something belonging to eternity. Mind belongs to time; it has no idea of eternity. It can make one up, but its idea of eternity will be nothing but time stretched as far as the mind can go. But it will still be time; and it has two ends to it, the beginning and the end. It is not eternity.
What can mind do? - it can only stretch time; that is its experience. It can make it longer and longer, but however long it is, it has a beginning, it has an end; it is not eternity.